smellyfeet 2 Posted May 25, 2014 Manicorn's Guide To Getting Laid Now I'm in a stable relationship (with a woman) but I have fucked hella sluts. I fucking LOVE sluts. It bothers me to see so many bros out there not being able to get laid due to their either epic faggotness or simply not have the balls to talk to a bitch. First thing you gotta understand is, women are easy. We can debate feminism another time, but the simple face is... WOMEN ARE EASY. So here is a simple guide on how to get laid. 1) You need to up your style game. Stay away from broclothes. Girls want a doodbro, but they dont want a doodbro that dresses like a doodbro. 2) Get a fucking wedding ring. Now I know this sounds counter intuitive, but bitches are some cut throats. Nothing makes a skank want you more than a cheap ass wedding ring. (just to show how stupid women are, it doesnt even have to be metal, can be plastic or whatnot just make sure it looks real). 3) All this touchy feely shit about "being yourself" is cool and all, and do be yourself. If you're a fucking badass. If you're just average Joe, act like a badass. Be fucking edgy. Bitches fucking LOVE edgy guys. No one pulls pussy smiling nicely in the fucking polo in the corner of the bar sipping their Corona or whatever trendy fucking beer faggots drink. So rule 3, is be a badass. 4) Be FUNNY. This is the key here. Bitches LOVE funny guys. So say funny shit. After you open, lead them to some questions. When you get a girl running her slut mouth about herself, chances are 4/5 times you can pull it unless you fuck it up. 5) If she asks you to buy her a drink, TELL her to buy YOU a drink. But do it with a smile. Bitches love smiles. Also ask her to get you and her a couple shots of fireball. Bitches LOVE fireball. 6) If she shoots you down. Be like YOLO SWAGGINS and proceed to the next bitch. If you went to any sort of decent bar, there should be hella drunk chicks there. So put a smile on your face, a beer in your hand, and proceed to the next girl. Easy Peasy. 7) Above all, be confident in your pimp hand. Girls run their mouths about equality, but drunk at the bar they really just want the dood to tell them they look pretty and to spread em. You can do this doodbro. Get away from your Terminal (linux is gay) and go gettem! ****DISCLAIMER**** BE SURE TO ASK FOR PERMISSION AND GET A WRITTEN CONSENT FORM! BITCHES ARE PRONE TO THIS SHIT CALLED REGRET AND IF YOU DONT CALL THEM THEY MAY CALL THE POLICE AND MAKE A FALSE RAPE ACCUSATION AGAINST YOUR DOODBRO ASS! 2 Kareem kotb and Rayne reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kareem kotb 30 Posted May 25, 2014 You're a faggot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
driz 2626 Posted May 25, 2014 all true except the linux is gay shit. linux makes you money, money gets you nice cars/bikes, which gets you bitches without any of the aforementioned effort. 2 camelFun and MrCoolness reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
XIII 149 Posted May 25, 2014 If you have to read stuff like this in order to get laid in the first place, then I've got bad news... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpartanSakaro 1977 Posted May 25, 2014 this is how i do it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DogsGoMeow 1606 Posted May 25, 2014 Sick guide bro Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Necrophenia 435 Posted May 25, 2014 this is how i do it This is how I do it 9 jc4x4, SpartanSakaro, driz and 6 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faded 266 Posted May 25, 2014 ...you sound a lot like the kid from my college that got in trouble for the "rapebait" email... http://totalfratmove.com/%CE%A6kt-member-from-georgia-tech-sends-rapiest-email-ever/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pebbz. 953 Posted May 25, 2014 1. Be Attractive Enough 2. Flirt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ElectronicDrug 7496 Posted May 25, 2014 1. Be Attractive Enough 2. Flirt 1. Be attractive2. Don't be not attractive is really all it takes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pebbz. 953 Posted May 25, 2014 PRETTY sure social interaction is somewhat integral i mean cmon look at u and this elliot kid im sure he has had plenty of e-relationships! xD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ElectronicDrug 7496 Posted May 25, 2014 ur so funny dude Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pebbz. 953 Posted May 25, 2014 i like to think im more of a tastemaker than a comic but ty dude Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ichalvl 1752 Posted May 25, 2014 Gotta give him props for such a unique intro Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bob Ross Zombie 1512 Posted May 25, 2014 You forgot rule 8 DON'T MARRY A HOEunless you want half you're shit gone, a fuck ton of arguments, and a girl who gets around on your dime and bed, DON'T MARRY A HOE 1 driz reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dojima 7619 Posted May 26, 2014 all true except the linux is gay shit. linux makes you money, money gets you nice cars/bikes, which gets you bitches without any of the aforementioned effort.Yeah, dude, Torvalds is just drowning in pussy. 7 Dakota, TotesMagoats, trav and 4 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BLiNDBoi 930 Posted May 26, 2014 Buy a fleshlight, get laid every night. 1 MrCoolness reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Velo 2077 Posted May 28, 2014 If you have to read stuff like this in order to get laid in the first place, then I've got bad news...Fuck your god damn avatar. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
XIII 149 Posted May 28, 2014 Fuck your god damn avatar. 1 Dojima reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetrock 420 Posted May 28, 2014 1 Piero reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Name 2616 Posted May 28, 2014 1 Piero reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Velo 2077 Posted May 29, 2014 1 1 sweetrock and AntyCrix reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rune 2783 Posted May 29, 2014 Wow gee, a great way to get STDs. Thanks for the guide, dude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SexyBatman 705 Posted May 29, 2014 dude you're not even close the way to get girls is go up to them and ask them for sex and if they say no slap that bitch across the face. she will see your masculinity and take off her clothes in response prompting you for the next step in procreation Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
