Brother committed suicide today.....

[yeet 1050]

Over the last 6 months I've been going through an extremely rough patch in my family. My mom was acting crazy and telling me how much of a shit I am and how she hopes I die and so on. But today I hit the real roadblock in my life, my brother committed suicide today........I don't know how to handle myself or anything else, I'm shaking and can't hold back the tears. Heres some back story, my dad is the one getting the real blow of the situation. My dad and his ex wife had a bad relationship through their whole marriage, she was a fucking slut and ended up cheating on him after my dad had two kids with her, one of which is my brother Drew. He divorced her and lost his sons in the custody battle while they were about 10-15 years old and he feels the guilt from his son committing suicide. I just don't know what to do or what I should think.....I'm a wreck right now and I can't handle this. It's something you see happening to other families and not your own........why me? why my family? Right as I thought we were out of the rough patch, my dad was recently laid off and my mom recently quit her job when she was in a rage after going through withdrawal from her diabetic medication. Why does this have to happen to me? why? My brother is gone, he's fucking dead and not coming back. I can't wrap my head around it, I can't think that he's gone but I know he is. He had fucking kids, one is 5 and the other is a fucking little baby. Im pissed off that he killed himself and am a a level of sadness i've never reached before. My voice is shaking and everytime I think about it I just can't hold myself back, I feel as if I had some fault in it even though I know I didn't, I can't imagine how my dad feels. I went upstairs to get something to drink and all of a sudden my mom comes up to me and says "Drew just hung himself" and I felt as if I was hit with a sledgehammer and got weighed down by 400 pounds of bricks. I just turned around, went into my room and laid down in shock not believing what I just heard and was hoping she was kidding even as she had tears in her eyes. I was in deep denial of what I just heard and still cannot believe what just happened a few FUCKING HOURS ago. I don't know what to do guys, why does life have to hit me with this now of all times? Please if anyone has gone through a loss like this I would love to hear how you handled it because I'm fucking lost and don't know what to do or say. My sister called to ask if I was ok and I just broke down, I'm only 17 and I'm going through this. I just don't know what to do...........

 

Sorry for the long text I just need to rant, I'm fucking lost

[Iherdcows 3419]

Any members found trolling will be banned. only warning.

message me if you need anything.

Edited April 27, 2014 by cowsQT

[Rune 2783]

Woah woah woah. Slow down.

 

I was 11 when a family member of mine (dad) committed suicide.

 

Best thing to do is take a deep breath, consolidate the situation with your family first, and know that everyone around you is always there to help.

 

I know it's not much to say, and it really won't help fill the empty space, but it does help. We're here for you.

Edited April 27, 2014 by Rune

[Ichalvl 1752]

 

Fuck man, that really sucks. 

 

I'm sorry for your loss, man.

 

The situation with your mom sounds pretty bad. I'd suggest talking to people. We're all here for you.

[BeauutifulChaos 902]

=( I'm really sorry for your loss. Just try and relax and stay close to the people who love you. But don't hold tears back, don't hold anger back. Don't let that stuff build up. Just cry and scream if you have to. Even if we aren't IRL or in my case have barely ever talked to you, we are all here for you.

Edited April 27, 2014 by BeauutifulChaos

[JeeCe 71]

If you have the chance to, you may want to go talk to a therapist about this. It can be very helpful.

[Burger 29]

All the readers here should realize not to take family for granted, you wouldn't realize how precious they are until they pass.

 

I am sorry to hear about your pain, I can't even imagine what I would do if this were to happened to me. It will leave a scar, but wounds will heal with time. Don't do anything drastic. I do not know you too well, but the community and I will be there for you.

[Clamps 4783]

Wow. A little more than what I expected to see here. First and foremost, my condolences for your loss. There's really nothing soothing that can be said. I've never had a family member take their life, but I had an acquaintance in high school take his. I was about your age when it happened, and still remember the details pretty well. 

 

Was at work after school with my best friend (who was much closer to him than I was) when I found out he had left early. Got home from work and swung by his place to find out why he left early. Him and two of our other friends are all in his room and they all look just crushed and distraught. They fill me in on what had happened and then we just kinda sat there for a while. A lot of questioning between them and some difficulty accepting it. We wound up just sitting there until well after midnight just grieving it out. I was never really close to to the kid that took his life, but all three of them were. I pretty much knew there was nothing I'd be able to say that'd make the situation any better, so I pretty much just tried to be more moral support than anything. 

 

Not really sure where I was trying to go with that, or if I was trying to actually go anywhere. I guess my only advice would be to do what you're doing by coming here. Don't close yourself off from everyone else and try to surround yourself with your friends as much as possible for a bit. If they're good friends, they'll sit there like I did and listen to whatever you had to say.

 

Another thing I'd suggest is to talk to your school counselor. They're not just there to help you pick a college. 

 

Hope something here can help you out. Hit me up if you need someone to talk to or need anything. 

[porknchili 662]

Man, I really feel for you. My condolences to your family: especially with the background circumstances. While you do feel like shit, and that's completely understandable, you really shouldn't beat yourself up so much about it. Life isn't fair and never will be. It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor, struggling or well-off, or whatever. Things can happen anytime and life can end in an instance and when you least expect it. These things happen, they've happened in my family and I'm certain they've probably happened to others in the community. Don't go and bury your feelings and it's good that you made this thread: you have a lot of courage to post this personal stuff here. The more that you are able to talk about this and work through it, the easier it'll be for you to find a sense of contentment. It'll be a while until this, but for now you should just spend time with your family. They need you as much as you need them now more than ever.

 

If you need to talk about anything, don't hesitate to ask me or any of the others here that have offered to lend you a hand/be someone you can talk with.

[yeet 1050]

Thanks guys for all the support in a time I really need it. Heres a picture of my brother and his kids that were left behind.....

 

[Coldfuse 324]

Think about the positives. Don't just dwell on the negatives. He is with god now. He is in a better place. He is no longer suffering.

 

Remember the good times not the bad times. Watch happy videos of them. Look at the positive photos, and remember the happy times.

 

Do something you enjoy. Use your sports bike. Play monopoly with your friends. Go to a concert. Hang out with friends.

 

Chat with someone about it whether it be a therapist your best friend a loved one or maybe someone here just chat with someone.

 

And remember, emotions are normal, please don't try to bottle them up it makes it worse for you.

 

Hopefully I helped, but I want you to know this: Letting the death of someone you love go doesn't mean completely abandoning them, you can still love the person, but it just means you cannot be dwelling on it. Dwelling on the past is not a good thing, because it prevents you from having happy life.

[DogsGoMeow 1606]

*sigh* sorry for you're loss.

Unfortunately I can't give as good help as some other members have posted.

 But that really sucks.. I feel for you :'(

[Randy Savage 71]

Don't succumb to any third parties. Don't pick up bad habits(smoking especially) and try to persevere.Come to terms with it. Understand that it happened and you didn't make it happen. Try to distance yourself from the idea that you were part of the negativity. Pushing yourself into the problem will only make it worse.

[Groov 568]

My best friend passed away a few years ago. I mean he was basically a brother to me, we were friends since childhood. A drunk driver ran a red light and t-boned him. When I heard that he was in a car accident it pretty much felt the same way as you. It felt like a giant boulder just smashed onto your entire body. At first I didnt cry at all, it actually took me a few days before it all sunk in. When I realized what had actually happened, I just fucking cried and didnt stop for such a long time. It is really good that you actually crying, dont hold anything back and let it all out. Do not blame yourself at all, I blamed myself because i kept saying in my head what if... I kept imagining different scenarios in my head of what ifs. Dont do that, it will just make it worse for you.

 

It took about a year before I got over his death, its gonna take some time for you as well, hopefully you wont dwell on your bro's death as long as I did with my friend. It does get better after a while, I still get teary whenever something reminds me of him. Remember your brother for who he was and the good he did, remember him as a caring father and your brother.

[Paradoxical Papaya 200]

Like every post here, don't focus on the negative. Find ways to cope with the situation and don't take important things for granted.

My deepest condolences to you and your family.

Sent from my iPho

[HurFFiNatEr010 460]

Sorry BroBro

Just don't hurt yourself pls

Im here to talk if you need me my azn bb 

[Rayne 4478]

Sorry doesn't quite cut it I'm afraid, I send you as much strength and love as I can, I hope you and your family the best. 

 

Pull together as a family and stay strong, you'll get through it eventually. 

 

Always here if you need me, just pm. 

[Velo 2077]

I don't know you all that well demon, but I'm sorry dude. If you feel like you need to let it all out, do it man.. it's good for you. Please just do it without hurting yourself or something else that's unreasonable. We care about you and we're here for you, man.

[chet 70]

I fell sorry for you man I been there

my brother was the one that introduced me to games and stuff like that and he been very close to me in every situation I had

I kept his name as honor for him

I really hope you get better because these stuff not easy at all

[The Real Xlite 270]

 I'm sorry man, let me know if I can help you in any way

[Kung? 173]

Oh man, sorry for your lost. Life might be tough and all but it still moves on. No matter what happens, you will always be strong and get through the pain and misery that life throws at you. If you need to talk to someone, I'm always here to help. 

[ctark 1983]

Jesus, I read the title and thought this was going to be a troll thread.  I'm sad it isn't (in the way that what happened is real)

 

You have my sincere condolences for your loss.  I honestly have no idea how you are feeling, but you have some good advice in this thread already.

 

 

Best thing I can suggest is to talk about it with people.  It doesn't matter who, or where.   Talk to your friends, family, school people (teachers councilors, ect...), or even to us, sG, on the forums, in teamspeak.   It doesn't even matter if what you are saying makes sense, just don't hold it in.

The more you talk about it, the more your mind can cope with what happened, and start to heal the mental wounds.

 

Again, I'm sorry for your loss. 

[Tortoise 2791]

when i was 19, my dad committed suicide. 

 

the only thing you can do is cry when you feel it coming, and just keep moving on. it will hurt for a while, but eventually it stops hurting so much. its been nearly 6 years since my dad died, and i only really think about it when something reminds me of it. 

 

do your best to remember his face and voice. it really hurts when you start to forget that stuff. 

[Oreo 2073]

 

the only thing you can do is cry when you feel it coming, and just keep moving on.

 

^^^

 

Can't stress that enough. Don't be ashamed of it, if you don't let it out it just gets worse.

[Swed 2651]

We're here for you man.