EL_PATRON

IF YOU HAVE NOT DONE SO, PLEASE VOTE FOR OUR RUST SERVER!
Simply press vote, and log in through steam!
 
Armor Regen: Fixed a bug that probably never caused issues, and also allowed Armor Regen to regen up to 250 (IF the race has "MaxArmor" that high - note - RING OF ARMOR DOES NOT CHANGE YOUR MAXIMUM ARMOR, so you will not regen up to your "ring of armor" amount - pls don't post bug)
 
Bounty Hunter: Fixed a couple bugs related to a Bountied player leaving the game - this probably made the ult unusable so I'm surprised nobody complained
 
Dante: Reduced healing when dante takes damage by 1
 
Hand of God: Possibly fixed the somewhat rare bug where you don't die when you ult
 
Dwarven Mage: Fixed a bug where sometimes you didn't get the bonus ammo
 
Archmage Khadgar: Fixed a bug causing Deep Freeze to not work, not sure when it broke. There is currently a bug with his crit it seems, but it uses default crit functions so I really am clueless. Need to sit on dev and shoot at some bots when I get some time.
 
Magnus: Fixed a bug where you could change race to Magnus, respawn, die as Magnus, then respawn yourself as Magnus. If you notice any "respawn" bugs please report them and do not abuse them. HINT: If you did not start a round as a race but change to it after dying and respawn yourself at any point in the same round it is probably a bug.
 
P250 Agent: Made it so the magic damage on headshot hits after the headshot... turns out if people don't hear the "dink" noise, they get really confused
 
Recon Scout: Invis now functions like Lilith's. Made it so Recon Scout can not go invis when holding the hostage.
 
Shadow Monkey: Fixed invis counter bug and low grav carrying over on Shadow Monkey
 
Succubus Hunter: Jumping should no longer spam everyone's console with errors
 
Xian: Fixed a bug related to slow loading exp not giving you USP-S on the first round. As I said here you can report "first round" bugs and I will fix them. It only happens because xp is slow to load because the db and server are on opposite sides of the US for a little while. It isn't hard to fix these bugs, but I'm not going to play hide and go seek with 200 races files because nobody got time for that. Post them on the bug tracker and they will be fixed.
 
Nithhogr: Fixed a bug where molotov's triggered the fire which was causing Nithhogr to dunk a little too hard on other players
 
Phyrexian Sieger: Restricted wish. Fixed a bug where you might not get the p250 bonus ammo on spawn.
 
Exalted Sorcerer: This should have helped with any efficiency problems it might have been causing (was done last week)
Hat of draining now requires line of site. The radius is 33% bigger, it drains twice as fast (twice per second instead of once per second), and it drains 5 hp per tick (10/s) instead of 3 per tick (3/sec). If this is substantially better than hat of storms let me know. I'd also like to add stuff to hat of radiance. I'm thinking flash and grenade immunity? Boots of flame trail is shorter (for efficiency reasons), but more spread out and catches people on fire in a substantially larger AOE radius. It also deals 30 total burn damage instead of 15. Boots of unyielding was coded to work more like ice totem works for efficiency reasons. It now removes a few more debuffs than it did before (and INSTANTLY instead of with a slight delay), but probably not anything big enough to ever be noticeable for most players. Fixed a bug where boots of illusion were only triggering when standing still when they are supposed to trigger only while moving (woops)  
(❁◕ ‿ ◕❁) POST YOUR BUGS TO THE BUG TRACKER AND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS CAN COME TRUE (❁◕ ‿ ◕❁)

Holt shit, you are cute af
You have my vote and ref next time you apply

i was afk

Holt shit, you are cute af
You have my vote and ref next time you apply

i was afk

Holt shit, you are cute af
You have my vote and ref next time you apply

Holt shit, you are cute af
You have my vote and ref next time you apply

Holt shit, you are cute af
You have my vote and ref next time you apply

WE'RE LOSING AT FUN, WE'RE LOSING AT INTERESTING MECHANICS, WE'RE LOSING AT OVERPOWERED RACES, WE'RE LOSING OLDFAGS, WE'RE LOSING AT KEEPING ENGINEERS AROUND, AND WE'RE ESPECIALLY LOSING AT MEMES
 

 
IT'S TIME TO MAKE WARCRAFT GREAT AGAIN
 
 
 
THE FIRST THING WE'RE GONNA DO IS FIX BUGS...
AND WE'RE GONNA MAKE THE BUGS PAY FOR IT!
WE'RE GONNA MAKE MOLE WORK AGAIN, NO MORE SPENDING YOUR HARD EARNED CASH JUST FOR A DUD SHOPITEM! WE'RE GONNA MAKE PYROMANIAC MINES ON AMERICAN TURF, AND THEY ARE GONNA WORK CORRECTLY, NO MORE BLOWING UP FROM FIRE BEING NEARBY  
THEN WE'RE GONNA GET BETTER DEALS...
WE AREN'T MAKING GOOD DEALS ANY MORE!
WE'RE GONNA GET SOCK OF THE FEATHER FOR $2,000 INSTEAD OF $2,500 WE'RE GONNA MAKE WEAPON SLING, A NEW DEFENSIVE ITEM THAT REDUCED THE CHANCE OF GETTING DISARMED BY 70% FOR A MERE $2,000!  
THEN WE'RE GONNA MAKE QUALITY OF LIFE CHANGES
WARCRAFT IS GONNA BE BETTER THAN EVER
WE'RE GONNA MAKE CRUSADER'S WISH NOT SPAWN GUNS IF YOUR RACE SPAWNS WITH GUNS IN THAT SLOT ALREADY - NO MORE GETTING JIPPED OUT OF YOUR HARD EARNED GUNS! WE'RE GONNA SELL THE AUG AND SG ON THE GUNS MENU! WE'RE GONNA MAKE EVADE PSEUDO RANDOM, GREATLY DECREASING THE CHANCE THAT 25% EVADE TRIGGERS 5/5 TIMES, WHILE ALSO GREATLY DECREASING THE CHANCE THAT EVADE TRIGGERS 0/5 TIMES! SEE THE LINK FOR MORE DETAILS. THEN WE'RE GONNA BUFF OUR RACES,
BECAUSE, BOY DO WE LOVE OUR RACES
ABADDON IS GOING TO HAVE A 3 SECOND ULTIMATE (UP FROM 2.5) AND HIS APHOTIC SHIELD WILL BLOCK 90% OF DAMAGE (UP FROM 80%) ADVENTURER'S ROGUE CLOAK IS GONNA HAVE AN EVADE CHANCE OF 18% (UP FROM 16%) CORPSE BOMBER IS GONNA DEAL MARGINALLY MORE DAMAGE WITH HIS DETONATION DEFAULT IS GONNA BE IMMUNE TO A LOT MORE, INCLUDING POISON, CRIT, BASH, LEECH, WEAPON DROP, FIRE, SLOW, KNOCKBACK, AND MAYBE EVEN MORE! DEMON HUNTER GRENADES ARE GONNA DEAL 18% OF THE GRENADE DAMAGE PER TICK AS FIRE, UP FROM 13% DISTORTION IS GONNA REGENERATE BLINK CHARGES EVERY 0.9 SECONDS (DOWN FROM 1.0 SECONDS) DRAGON KNIGHT IS GONNA HAVE HP REGEN OF 2.0 (UP FROM 1.5) DROW QUEEN IS GONNA HAVE AN EVADE CHANCE OF 22% (UP FROM 20%) GOLDEN TAIL IS GONNA BE ABLE TO ULT EVERY 0.95 SECONDS (DOWN FROM 1.0) INFECTED IS GONNA HAVE AN ADDITIONAL 550 HEALTH IN THE STARTING ROUNDS (UP FROM 450) KEEPER OF THE GROVE'S ULTIMATE RANGE IS INCREASED BY ALMOST 50% LOBOTOMIST BANISH AND LOBOTOMIZE LAST MARGINALLY LONGER LORD JARAXXUS SHOOTS CHAIN LIGHTNING MARGINALLY FARTHER MASTER OF GO CAN HEAL SLIGHTLY MORE FREQUENTLY BY JUMPING (0.5 SEC CD TO 0.2 SEC CD) MOLECULE IS GONNA HAVE 35% EVADE (UP FROM 33%) NATURE WISP IS GONNA HAVE 60% EVADE (UP FROM 50%) AND IS GONNA START WITH 15 LEVELS NOW (LIKE ZERGLING) NIGHT ELF IS GONNA HAVE 28% EVADE (UP FROM 25%) PISTOLEER IS GONNA ULT EVERY 2.5 SECONDS (DOWN FROM 3) PUDGE DISMEMBER IS GONNA LAST 1.75 SECONDS (UP FROM 1.5) PYROMANIAC IS GONNA BE ABLE TO KNOCKBACK EVERY 2 SECONDS (DOWN FROM 4 SECONDS) RANGER OF THE WOODS IS GONNA ABSORB 40% OF DAMAGE INTO HIS ARMOR (UP FROM 30%) TERRAN REAPER IS GONNA BE ABLE TO ULT EVERY 5 SECONDS (DOWN FROM 6) SIN IS GONNA DEAL 70% BONUS HEADSHOT DAMAGE (UP FROM 49%) UNHOLY PALADIN IS GONNA GET 1.8% LIFESTEAL PER TEAMMATE (UP FROM 1.6%) WIZARD OF THE EVERLASTING IS GONNA ABSORB 100% OF DAMAGE INTO HIS ARMOR (UP FROM 50%) ZERGLING IS GONNA BE ABLE TO ATTACK 0.75 SECONDS AFTER UNBURROWING (DOWN FROM 1 SECOND)  
THEN WE'RE GONNA ADD A RACE TO THE SERVER
BECAUSE WE'RE TIRED OF THE SAME OLD RACES
BATTLEFIELD PRO IS NOW PLAYABLE AT 4500 TOTAL LEVELS! REGEN WAS REPLACED WITH AN ALL NEW, NEVER BEFORE SEEN, BRIEFLY TESTED ULTIMATE! GO GIVE IT A WHIRL! THEN WE'RE GONNA MAKE STRIDES IN CODING EFFICIENCY
BECAUSE WE'RE TIRED OF ALWAYS LAGGING 
(NO GUARANTEE THIS MADE A NOTICEABLE EFFECT ON THE LAG.. IT PROBABLY ISN'T A HUGE DIFFERENCE, AND I WON'T KNOW TILL I SEE IT LIVE)
WE'RE GONNA RECODE REGEN FROM THE GROUND UP BECAUSE REGEN WAS UNNECESSARILY BEING MANAGED EVERY SINGLE GAME FRAME WE'RE GONNA CHANGE HOW SPEED IS SET, BECAUSE SPEED WAS UNNECESSARILY BEING RECALCULATED AND RESET EVERY SINGLE GAME FRAME WE'RE GONNA STOP UNNECESSARILY STORING PLAYER WEAPONS EVERY 2 GAME FRAMES FOR CRUSADERS WISH, AND START STORING THEM EVERY TIME A PLAYER PICKS UP OR DROPS A GUN  
AND THE BEST PART IS? ALL OF THIS IS ALREADY LIVE!

trainfuck me daddy

trainfuck me daddy

trainfuck me daddy

trainfuck me daddy

trainfuck me daddy

nope

I don't have a great image of me currently, but whatever.