Apologies...

[Guest Ziggity Zot]

Just dropping by to get this off my chest... I would like to apologize to everyone here, at least those remaining few who remember me, for taking everything so seriously over the years I had stuck around. All the drama and trolling had gotten to me to a point it never should have, and I let it eat at me even during times in which I was away from the forums. I was always so angry with what everyone had to say, or who was getting on who's case and this, that, and the other, much of it being started or perpetuated by myself.

Even as much as I felt I hated everyone and everything about this place, I still find myself lurking the forums from time to time just to see what is going on- never posting, obviously, but I've come to realize at this point that I don't truly hate any of you. Junzou, Nitestalker, Ponch, Foh, Project, etc, etc... You're all just here to have fun and chill, as is everyone else who comes around this joint, and often times I would take things too far, or get things out of context, raging over small potatoes and ruining other people's time just because I was holding a grudge. Even though there were some more serious things to come of these antics, they don't deserve the resentment I've held towards all of you for so long... I don't want to hate anyone anymore.

I'm sorry to all of you for all the pot stirring, drama, and trolling I've participated in.

To Dani, I practically forced you to avoid this place because of my own feelings, not taking into consideration how you felt. In my mind, I felt you were being weak by not sticking to what you said and not ever coming back on the few occasions you rage quit, and since Michael's stunts early last year, I felt you should avoid hanging around and trying to be a part of a community where any one member could decide they don't like you or what you're doing, and try to hurt you in the same way. It's not the first time you've had "PIP" issues with this community, but it was not my decision to make. It is your life, your choice to visit whatever video game community you want, and if and when anything bad happens, hopefully you will learn from it. All that being said, I would like to point out that you still promised me you would stay away from the forums. That was your decision to make as well, not mine. I can't force you to make promises, and the three times you broke that promise, the reason was you thought I would forget or not care anymore. To be perfectly honest, you were right, even the first time, I had begun to not really care much anymore, and I really did want to just drop it but I held it against you anyway since I was hurt you broke your promises. I'm not saying for sure one way or the other, but had you just talked to me about it and expressed how you felt, I probably would have been OK with it at that point... Because of the broken promises, I pushed further and further, telling you not to post on the forums, not to talk to certain people, particularly Nitestalker, not to play on the servers anymore, even going so far as to have you remove everyone involved with SG from your friends lists.

When it all boils down to it, I was a controlling little fuck up and I treated you like shit, and I want everyone here to know it as well. I always felt like I had to prove you wrong and that I was in the right no matter what the situation, and would bring our arguments to levels absolutely unnecessary and downright abusive. I was being the same old person I hoped I wouldn't be for you, that I had been all of my life to my own family and friends. In the year and nine months we had been together I demonstrated pretty accurately how hurtful I can be, not just on you, but through the bouts I had with my brother, the things I said to my uncle, and so on. The things I said to you on the first of this month were horrid, and I didn't mean a single word of it. I am still completely disgusted with myself... When you told me the night before that I scare you, I questioned it. That next day I understood why.

My mind is constantly racing every day while I'm at work, at home, or doing whatever, thinking of all the different things I want to say to you, like how much I love you, miss you, and can't stand not talking to you... Thoughts of how angry I am for the things you told me and what you've promised me, like how you dreamt of the day you would be Mrs. Danielle McCauley, or how you told me you would always love me for me no matter what. Those thoughts are immediately followed with the understanding that it's not OK for me to feel that way. It is not your fault I was such an asshole (understatement). You said those things because you were in love with who I want to be, and who I'm currently striving to be, harder than ever before, but strayed away from over the course of our relationship. I'm not proud of what I was. The only time in my entire life I've ever been proud of myself was when you were proud to call me your boyfriend.

This is a jumbled mess... I had it all composed in my head earlier, and now that I'm typing it out and getting anxious I can't think straight... I'm just trying to say I'm sorry, again, for the 8 millionth time, you probably don't want to hear it, will be upset to see it, etc, etc...

BeauutifulChaos: Because I just dont feel like I used to. I want to get butterflies again in my stomach when you talk to me, I want to hear you tell me how much you love me again, and how much you need me. I dont like it when you joke around and call me names, like slut or whore or whatever. I just want to feel like I did before. When we were really in love. When it didnt seem like I was just your online girl friend. But when I was something more than that.

Danielle, I love you and I need you. You were never just my online girlfriend, you're the love of my life, and I would do anything to get you back.

Edited October 10, 2012 by Ziggity Zot

[DarkPredator 1193]

First. Even if this shit is before my time.

[Iherdcows 3419]

Zeus?

[Guest Ziggity Zot]

Tis lowly ol' me.

[Mitch 2111]

Hope shit gets sorted out zeus.

pz

[DarkPredator 1193]

I don't know everything about you Zeus, but from what I do know...

If I could find a girl into real video games and stuff, I'd probably feel the same way.

[Christmas 643]

I don't know everything about you Zeus, but from what I do know...

If I could find a girl into real video games and stuff, I'd probably feel the same way.

I'm there.

[Skotti 2105]

In.

Hi zues.

[Goldentongue 3616]

So, BC, wanna fuck?

[Dyscivist 5686]

I graciously forgive you.

[ctark 1983]

Well..... I never really got to know you very well, but let me say this, admitting you have a problem is the first step to overcoming it, it may have taken you close to two years to figure it out, and it might take two or more to correct it, but if you really, really want to, I'm sure you will find a way to change.

now then,

/insert troll comment here

[Guest Ziggity Zot]

I would like to hope things can be worked out. They say time heals all, but I may have screwed the pooch even more by even making this post, and apparently I like screwing pooches.

[Dojima 7619]

[Archy 422]

Did anyone actually read all of that?

I saw a wall of text and was like nope...

[DarkPredator 1193]

I'm not sure you quite understand the meaning of fucking the dog.

[Sir. Hot Mayo 1143]

Zeus, you broke my heart, I'll never forget it, and I'll never forgive you.

[Zachmanman 877]

lol thought it was NEXS

[Guest Ziggity Zot]

lol thought it was NEXS

May as well have been. I've put myself nearly on the same level as him.

[Zachmanman 877]

lol thought it was NEXS

May as well have been. I've put myself nearly on the same level as him.

Its ok, I still love you

[Sketchmaticx 3170]

takes balls, bro

really does

sadly, i'm the only one in the community that can really relate to your situation, but im just too exhausted to post anything well thought out

[UnknownLegend 5480]

Just dropping by to get this off my chest... I would like to apologize to everyone here, at least those remaining few who remember me, for taking everything so seriously over the years I had stuck around. All the drama and trolling had gotten to me to a point it never should have, and I let it eat at me even during times in which I was away from the forums. I was always so angry with what everyone had to say, or who was getting on who's case and this, that, and the other, much of it being started or perpetuated by myself.

Even as much as I felt I hated everyone and everything about this place, I still find myself lurking the forums from time to time just to see what is going on- never posting, obviously, but I've come to realize at this point that I don't truly hate any of you. Junzou, Nitestalker, Ponch, Foh, Project, etc, etc... You're all just here to have fun and chill, as is everyone else who comes around this joint, and often times I would take things too far, or get things out of context, raging over small potatoes and ruining other people's time just because I was holding a grudge. Even though there were some more serious things to come of these antics, they don't deserve the resentment I've held towards all of you for so long... I don't want to hate anyone anymore.

I'm sorry to all of you for all the pot stirring, drama, and trolling I've participated in.

To Dani, I practically forced you to avoid this place because of my own feelings, not taking into consideration how you felt. In my mind, I felt you were being weak by not sticking to what you said and not ever coming back on the few occasions you rage quit, and since Michael's stunts early last year, I felt you should avoid hanging around and trying to be a part of a community where any one member could decide they don't like you or what you're doing, and try to hurt you in the same way. It's not the first time you've had "PIP" issues with this community, but it was not my decision to make. It is your life, your choice to visit whatever video game community you want, and if and when anything bad happens, hopefully you will learn from it. All that being said, I would like to point out that you still promised me you would stay away from the forums. That was your decision to make as well, not mine. I can't force you to make promises, and the three times you broke that promise, the reason was you thought I would forget or not care anymore. To be perfectly honest, you were right, even the first time, I had begun to not really care much anymore, and I really did want to just drop it but I held it against you anyway since I was hurt you broke your promises. I'm not saying for sure one way or the other, but had you just talked to me about it and expressed how you felt, I probably would have been OK with it at that point... Because of the broken promises, I pushed further and further, telling you not to post on the forums, not to talk to certain people, particularly Nitestalker, not to play on the servers anymore, even going so far as to have you remove everyone involved with SG from your friends lists.

When it all boils down to it, I was a controlling little fuck up and I treated you like shit, and I want everyone here to know it as well. I always felt like I had to prove you wrong and that I was in the right no matter what the situation, and would bring our arguments to levels absolutely unnecessary and downright abusive. I was being the same old person I hoped I wouldn't be for you, that I had been all of my life to my own family and friends. In the year and nine months we had been together I demonstrated pretty accurately how hurtful I can be, not just on you, but through the bouts I had with my brother, the things I said to my uncle, and so on. The things I said to you on the first of this month were horrid, and I didn't mean a single word of it. I am still completely disgusted with myself... When you told me the night before that I scare you, I questioned it. That next day I understood why.

My mind is constantly racing every day while I'm at work, at home, or doing whatever, thinking of all the different things I want to say to you, like how much I love you, miss you, and can't stand not talking to you... Thoughts of how angry I am for the things you told me and what you've promised me, like how you dreamt of the day you would be Mrs. Danielle McCauley, or how you told me you would always love me for me no matter what. Those thoughts are immediately followed with the understanding that it's not OK for me to feel that way. It is not your fault I was such an asshole (understatement). You said those things because you were in love with who I want to be, and who I'm currently striving to be, harder than ever before, but strayed away from over the course of our relationship. I'm not proud of what I was. The only time in my entire life I've ever been proud of myself was when you were proud to call me your boyfriend.

This is a jumbled mess... I had it all composed in my head earlier, and now that I'm typing it out and getting anxious I can't think straight... I'm just trying to say I'm sorry, again, for the 8 millionth time, you probably don't want to hear it, will be upset to see it, etc, etc...

BeauutifulChaos: Because I just dont feel like I used to. I want to get butterflies again in my stomach when you talk to me, I want to hear you tell me how much you love me again, and how much you need me. I dont like it when you joke around and call me names, like slut or whore or whatever. I just want to feel like I did before. When we were really in love. When it didnt seem like I was just your online girl friend. But when I was something more than that.

Danielle, I love you and I need you. You were never just my online girlfriend, you're the love of my life, and I would do anything to get you back.

OH SHIT HI ZEUS

EDIT::

For the first minute or so I was like "ok... is this Goodkat or NEXS... those are the only two crazy guys I know who have a hard-on for Dani..." Then I actually read the post.

Edited October 11, 2012 by The Junzou

[Goldentongue 3616]

Sorry Zeus, she already gave me an upvote.

Chaos is DTF.

[Guest Ziggity Zots]

Good luck with that GT.

And yeah, Junzou, put me in with those two. I'm pretty much insane right now.

[UnknownLegend 5480]

And yeah, Junzou, put me in with those two. I'm pretty much insane right now.

I'm assuming you know as much of the story about those two as I do, so for you to include yourself in with the two of them, that's saying something.

[Guest Ziggity Zots]

And yeah, Junzou, put me in with those two. I'm pretty much insane right now.

I'm assuming you know as much of the story about those two as I do, so for you to include yourself in with the two of them, that's saying something.

Don't know the full story with Goodkat, but with NEXS... I was a part of it, and I did something that really made me feel like him. I'm sure if she ever decides to respond she'll gladly put it out here for you guys.

EDIT:

That is not to say I stooped as low as him, I would never do what he did, but I did get sneaky, fearing I was being lied to.

Edited October 11, 2012 by Ziggity Zots