_kyle_ 318 Posted June 4, 2013 I was wondering if anyone had any good ones Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kevinbotz 143 Posted June 4, 2013 Stop spamming. 5 1 Kim, _kyle_, BananaPeelz and 3 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
_kyle_ 318 Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) A woman walks into a upermarket and buys a loaf of bread, a banana, and a can of soup. When she is at the cash register paying fir her food, the cashier says "I can tell you're single". She smiles and asks how. He replies, "Because you're ugly." Edited June 4, 2013 by _kyle_ 1 6 jc4x4, kevinbotz, BananaPeelz and 4 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JMaFia 1317 Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) SO A MAN AND A MONKEY WALK INTO A BAR-- I FORGET THE REST OF THE JOKE BUT YOU'RE A FAGGOT Edited June 4, 2013 by JMaFia 3 1 HurFFiNatEr010, Kim, fps_trucka and 1 other reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DarkPredator 1193 Posted June 4, 2013 An old man and a little girl walk into the woods.The little girl says to the old man, "I'm scared!".The old man says to the little girl, "You're scared? I have to walk out of here alone". 2 Kim and _kyle_ reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
_kyle_ 318 Posted June 4, 2013 Sorry Kevin. Do you want me to delete this? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Will.Alaska 926 Posted June 4, 2013 "I heard the Boston Marathon was a blast this year." 2 Kim and _kyle_ reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
_kyle_ 318 Posted June 4, 2013 "I heard the Boston Marathon was a blast this year."I know someone who made a fantasy football team called "The Boston Bombers" like a year before the bombings Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
I Am Mr. Big ((:))+< 0 Posted June 4, 2013 "I heard the Boston Marathon was a blast this year."oh fuck, im gonna hate myself for this but, So my wife calls me after running the Boston Marathon. She said can't feel her legs 1 Will.Alaska reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waffles 811 Posted June 4, 2013 Did you guys hear about the mexican trainkiller? Well, they said he had locomotives... 2 porknchili and MrCoolness reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Siesan 1802 Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) what did the dog say while playing tug o war? Stop being so ruff! ahaha -edit-fail quotes Edited June 4, 2013 by Seasoning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Coldfuse 324 Posted June 4, 2013 So there is this little girl, she has a cat tied cart that is decorated like a fire truck. She goes pass the fire station and one fireman said "That is a nice firetruck you have there, it would be better if it wasn't tied to the cats testicles." So the girl replies "But then I wouldn't have a siren". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MisterTurkes 544 Posted June 4, 2013 whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? Boy scouts come back from camp 3 fps_trucka, I Am Mr. Big ((:))+< and Coldfuse reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elmo 1272 Posted June 4, 2013 Joke? YOU 1 1 _kyle_ and Kung? reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kung? 173 Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) I'm not trying to be racist but Jew 5000 told this joke before: I have black people in my family tree, look they're still hanging there. EDIT: Thread belongs to CS: Go Jailbreak sub-forum. Edited June 4, 2013 by Kung? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
_kyle_ 318 Posted June 4, 2013 EDIT: Thread belongs to CS: Go Jailbreak sub-forum.Sorry, is there any way for me to move it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Howard Dean 2502 Posted June 4, 2013 Long Jokes Animal Jokes Bar Jokes Blonde Jokes Dirty Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Marriage Jokes Medical Jokes Old Age Jokes Political Jokes Redneck Jokes Short Jokes Animal Jokes Blonde Jokes Celebrity Jokes Clean Jokes Dirty Jokes Doctor Jokes Knock Knock Jokes Lawyer Jokes Marriage Jokes Men Jokes One Liner Jokes Pick Up Lines Redneck Jokes Sick Jokes Women Jokes Yo Mama Jokes Yo Mama Is Like Yo Mama So Dark Yo Mama So Fat Yo Mama So Hairy Yo Mama So Old Yo Mama So Poor Yo Mama So Short Yo Mama So Skinny Yo Mama So Stupid Yo Mama So Tall Yo Mama So Ugly Short Dirty JokesQ: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?A: Dress her up as an alter boy.Q: When does a cub become a boy scout?A: When he eats his first Brownie.Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit?A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?A: Full.Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur?A: Mega-saur-assQ: What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar?A: A love call.Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaurA: A lickalotopisQ: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.Q: How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass?A: Very satisfying.Q: What kind of bees produce milk?A: BoobiesQ: What did the penis say to the condom?A: Cover me im going in!Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwaveA: A microwave doesn't brown your meatQ: What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?A: One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running cunt.Q: What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection?A: A Quarter Pounder with Cheese.Q: What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?A: If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!Q: Did you hear about the 150 lb. man who had 75 lb. testicles?A: He was half nuts!!!Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?A: DicktatorQ: Did you hear about the gay truckers?A: They exchanged loads.Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?A: Ask your mom.Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?A: Miracle Whip.Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex?A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.Q: What's the pink nub of flesh between your grandmother's breasts called?A: Her clit.Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.Q: What's the ultimate rejection?A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.Q: What do you call an afghan virginA: Never bin laid onQ: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?A: Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself.Q: Why don't witches wear panties when flying?A: To get a better grip on the broomstick.Q: How did the Pillsbury Dough boy die?A: Yeast Infection.Q: Whats the difference between acne and a priest?A: Acne waits until you're 14 to cum on you're faceQ: Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him?A: He came home shit faced.Q: Which is the odd one out a woman, a microwave or a fridge/freezer?A: The microwave, the other two leak when they're fucked!Q: What do you call ball's on your chin?A: A dick in your mouth!Q: Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer?A: The grass tickles their ballsQ: Why is being in the military like a blow-job?A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.Q: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?A: Liquor in the front and poker in the back!Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a flea?A: An itchy cock.Q: How are math and sex the same?A: I don't get either one.Q: What did the pedophile say when he got out of jail?A: I feel like a kid again!Q: What do a Turtle and a Pedophile have in common?A: They both want to get there before the 'hair' does.Q: What's worse than spiders on your piano?A: Crabs on your organ.Q: What is the difference between erotic and kinky?A: Erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken.Q: What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools?A: A fruit stand!Q: How do you give a blind queer a thrill?A: Leave the plunger in the toilet.Q: What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common?A: They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? A: If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts. Q: What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before he leaves the factory?A: Two test ticklesQ: Why did God create alcohol?A: So ugly people would have a chance to have sex.Q: What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs who gives good head?A: Partially disabled.Q: How do you know when your girlfriend is on anabolic steroids?A: When she flips you over, holds you down and fucks you ..up the arrse with her clitoris.Q: What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick?. A: Fucks funny!.Q: How do you make a hormone?A: Don't pay her.Q: Why do female paratroopers wear jockstraps?A: So they don't whistle on the way down.Q: What's the best part of having a homeless girlfriend?A: You can drop her off where ever you want!Q: What do you call a two hundred foot rubber?A: A condominiumQ: What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?A: Blow job: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.Q: What's the definition of eternity?A: The time between when you cum and she leaves.Q: Why are hangovers better than women?A: Hangovers will go away.Q: How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?A: He forgot to wrap his whopper.Q: What do Lifesavers do that a man can't?A: Come in eight flavors.Q: Why don't old ladies ever have sex?A: Ever try to pull apart a grilled cheese sandwich?Q: What is the difference between a young prostitute and an old prostitute?A: One uses vaseline, the other uses polygrip.Q: What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?A: We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.Q: What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?A: A cherry float.Q: What's the difference between a girl and a toilet?A: A toilet doesn't want to cuddle after you drop a load in it.Q: Why is sex like a bridge game?A: You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.Q: What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?A: The longer you play with them, the harder they get.Q: What is the leading cause of death with lesbians?A: Hair ballsQ: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?A: He heard the snow blower coming.Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?A: They don't stop for directions.Q: What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?A: Goes-in-tight!Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?A: Beat it – we’re closed. 1 Seabagz reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewinator 5000 750 Posted June 4, 2013 I'm not trying to be racist but Jew 5000 told this joke before: I have black people in my family tree, look they're still hanging there. EDIT: Thread belongs to CS: Go Jailbreak sub-forum.im not trying to be racist but boy do I sure hate black people 2 water.exe and DogsGoMeow reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eek 724 Posted June 4, 2013 Q: What's the difference between a black person and a park bench?A: A park bench can support a family. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DogsGoMeow 1606 Posted June 4, 2013 "I heard the Boston Marathon was a blast this year."Yeh, i heard it was a "explosive" finish. 1 _kyle_ reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seabagz 257 Posted June 4, 2013 Q: What's the difference between a black person and a park bench?A: A park bench can support a family.What's the difference between a mexican and an elevator?An elevator can raise a child. 1 _kyle_ reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clamps 4783 Posted June 4, 2013 A man is walking through the woods when he comes across a young girl crying on a bench."What's wrong?" he asks the girl."My puppy rain into the lake and he couldn't get out, so my dad went in to get him and they both drowned."The man pauses and unzips his fly."Well I guess today just isn't your day." 1 1 Kim and AntyCrix reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ivanns 1088 Posted June 4, 2013 A baby seal walks into a club 3 DogsGoMeow, _kyle_ and Kim reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TurtleFrenzy 2612 Posted June 4, 2013 A man is walking through the woods when he comes across a young girl crying on a bench."What's wrong?" he asks the girl."My puppy rain into the lake and he couldn't get out, so my dad went in to get him and they both drowned."The man pauses and unzips his fly."Well I guess today just isn't your day."Oh my God.Also, obligatory RainC is the biggest joke. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
