Guest Ziggity Zot Posted October 10, 2012 (edited) Just dropping by to get this off my chest... I would like to apologize to everyone here, at least those remaining few who remember me, for taking everything so seriously over the years I had stuck around. All the drama and trolling had gotten to me to a point it never should have, and I let it eat at me even during times in which I was away from the forums. I was always so angry with what everyone had to say, or who was getting on who's case and this, that, and the other, much of it being started or perpetuated by myself.Even as much as I felt I hated everyone and everything about this place, I still find myself lurking the forums from time to time just to see what is going on- never posting, obviously, but I've come to realize at this point that I don't truly hate any of you. Junzou, Nitestalker, Ponch, Foh, Project, etc, etc... You're all just here to have fun and chill, as is everyone else who comes around this joint, and often times I would take things too far, or get things out of context, raging over small potatoes and ruining other people's time just because I was holding a grudge. Even though there were some more serious things to come of these antics, they don't deserve the resentment I've held towards all of you for so long... I don't want to hate anyone anymore.I'm sorry to all of you for all the pot stirring, drama, and trolling I've participated in.To Dani, I practically forced you to avoid this place because of my own feelings, not taking into consideration how you felt. In my mind, I felt you were being weak by not sticking to what you said and not ever coming back on the few occasions you rage quit, and since Michael's stunts early last year, I felt you should avoid hanging around and trying to be a part of a community where any one member could decide they don't like you or what you're doing, and try to hurt you in the same way. It's not the first time you've had "PIP" issues with this community, but it was not my decision to make. It is your life, your choice to visit whatever video game community you want, and if and when anything bad happens, hopefully you will learn from it. All that being said, I would like to point out that you still promised me you would stay away from the forums. That was your decision to make as well, not mine. I can't force you to make promises, and the three times you broke that promise, the reason was you thought I would forget or not care anymore. To be perfectly honest, you were right, even the first time, I had begun to not really care much anymore, and I really did want to just drop it but I held it against you anyway since I was hurt you broke your promises. I'm not saying for sure one way or the other, but had you just talked to me about it and expressed how you felt, I probably would have been OK with it at that point... Because of the broken promises, I pushed further and further, telling you not to post on the forums, not to talk to certain people, particularly Nitestalker, not to play on the servers anymore, even going so far as to have you remove everyone involved with SG from your friends lists.When it all boils down to it, I was a controlling little fuck up and I treated you like shit, and I want everyone here to know it as well. I always felt like I had to prove you wrong and that I was in the right no matter what the situation, and would bring our arguments to levels absolutely unnecessary and downright abusive. I was being the same old person I hoped I wouldn't be for you, that I had been all of my life to my own family and friends. In the year and nine months we had been together I demonstrated pretty accurately how hurtful I can be, not just on you, but through the bouts I had with my brother, the things I said to my uncle, and so on. The things I said to you on the first of this month were horrid, and I didn't mean a single word of it. I am still completely disgusted with myself... When you told me the night before that I scare you, I questioned it. That next day I understood why.My mind is constantly racing every day while I'm at work, at home, or doing whatever, thinking of all the different things I want to say to you, like how much I love you, miss you, and can't stand not talking to you... Thoughts of how angry I am for the things you told me and what you've promised me, like how you dreamt of the day you would be Mrs. Danielle McCauley, or how you told me you would always love me for me no matter what. Those thoughts are immediately followed with the understanding that it's not OK for me to feel that way. It is not your fault I was such an asshole (understatement). You said those things because you were in love with who I want to be, and who I'm currently striving to be, harder than ever before, but strayed away from over the course of our relationship. I'm not proud of what I was. The only time in my entire life I've ever been proud of myself was when you were proud to call me your boyfriend.This is a jumbled mess... I had it all composed in my head earlier, and now that I'm typing it out and getting anxious I can't think straight... I'm just trying to say I'm sorry, again, for the 8 millionth time, you probably don't want to hear it, will be upset to see it, etc, etc...BeauutifulChaos: Because I just dont feel like I used to. I want to get butterflies again in my stomach when you talk to me, I want to hear you tell me how much you love me again, and how much you need me. I dont like it when you joke around and call me names, like slut or whore or whatever. I just want to feel like I did before. When we were really in love. When it didnt seem like I was just your online girl friend. But when I was something more than that.Danielle, I love you and I need you. You were never just my online girlfriend, you're the love of my life, and I would do anything to get you back. Edited October 10, 2012 by Ziggity Zot 3 3 numnuts, Don Danzone, Rayne and 3 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DarkPredator 1193 Posted October 10, 2012 First. Even if this shit is before my time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Iherdcows 3419 Posted October 10, 2012 Zeus? 1 Rayne reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ziggity Zot Posted October 10, 2012 Tis lowly ol' me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch 2111 Posted October 10, 2012 Hope shit gets sorted out zeus.pz 4 DarkPredator, MOFLSTOMP, KGameLover1 and 1 other reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DarkPredator 1193 Posted October 10, 2012 I don't know everything about you Zeus, but from what I do know...If I could find a girl into real video games and stuff, I'd probably feel the same way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Christmas 643 Posted October 10, 2012 I don't know everything about you Zeus, but from what I do know...If I could find a girl into real video games and stuff, I'd probably feel the same way.I'm there. 1 dormantlemon reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skotti 2105 Posted October 10, 2012 In. Hi zues. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goldentongue 3616 Posted October 10, 2012 So, BC, wanna fuck? 13 Freekiller #3, KGameLover1, Gonepostal2000 and 10 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dyscivist 5686 Posted October 10, 2012 I graciously forgive you. 2 Deadpool and Taboo reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ctark 1983 Posted October 10, 2012 Well..... I never really got to know you very well, but let me say this, admitting you have a problem is the first step to overcoming it, it may have taken you close to two years to figure it out, and it might take two or more to correct it, but if you really, really want to, I'm sure you will find a way to change.now then,/insert troll comment here 1 Phoenixx reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ziggity Zot Posted October 10, 2012 I would like to hope things can be worked out. They say time heals all, but I may have screwed the pooch even more by even making this post, and apparently I like screwing pooches. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dojima 7619 Posted October 10, 2012 5 Frosted Butts, Dr Pepper, Smooth-eh and 2 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Archy 422 Posted October 10, 2012 Did anyone actually read all of that?I saw a wall of text and was like nope... 16 3 jc4x4, JMaFia, MOFLSTOMP and 16 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DarkPredator 1193 Posted October 10, 2012 I'm not sure you quite understand the meaning of fucking the dog. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir. Hot Mayo 1143 Posted October 10, 2012 Zeus, you broke my heart, I'll never forget it, and I'll never forgive you. 2 Taboo and Dojima reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zachmanman 877 Posted October 10, 2012 lol thought it was NEXS 3 fatb0y, KGameLover1 and Mitch reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ziggity Zot Posted October 10, 2012 lol thought it was NEXSMay as well have been. I've put myself nearly on the same level as him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zachmanman 877 Posted October 11, 2012 lol thought it was NEXSMay as well have been. I've put myself nearly on the same level as him.Its ok, I still love you 3 KGameLover1, MOFLSTOMP and Mitch reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sketchmaticx 3170 Posted October 11, 2012 takes balls, broreally doessadly, i'm the only one in the community that can really relate to your situation, but im just too exhausted to post anything well thought out 8 JMaFia, Jason, KGameLover1 and 5 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UnknownLegend 5480 Posted October 11, 2012 (edited) Just dropping by to get this off my chest... I would like to apologize to everyone here, at least those remaining few who remember me, for taking everything so seriously over the years I had stuck around. All the drama and trolling had gotten to me to a point it never should have, and I let it eat at me even during times in which I was away from the forums. I was always so angry with what everyone had to say, or who was getting on who's case and this, that, and the other, much of it being started or perpetuated by myself.Even as much as I felt I hated everyone and everything about this place, I still find myself lurking the forums from time to time just to see what is going on- never posting, obviously, but I've come to realize at this point that I don't truly hate any of you. Junzou, Nitestalker, Ponch, Foh, Project, etc, etc... You're all just here to have fun and chill, as is everyone else who comes around this joint, and often times I would take things too far, or get things out of context, raging over small potatoes and ruining other people's time just because I was holding a grudge. Even though there were some more serious things to come of these antics, they don't deserve the resentment I've held towards all of you for so long... I don't want to hate anyone anymore.I'm sorry to all of you for all the pot stirring, drama, and trolling I've participated in.To Dani, I practically forced you to avoid this place because of my own feelings, not taking into consideration how you felt. In my mind, I felt you were being weak by not sticking to what you said and not ever coming back on the few occasions you rage quit, and since Michael's stunts early last year, I felt you should avoid hanging around and trying to be a part of a community where any one member could decide they don't like you or what you're doing, and try to hurt you in the same way. It's not the first time you've had "PIP" issues with this community, but it was not my decision to make. It is your life, your choice to visit whatever video game community you want, and if and when anything bad happens, hopefully you will learn from it. All that being said, I would like to point out that you still promised me you would stay away from the forums. That was your decision to make as well, not mine. I can't force you to make promises, and the three times you broke that promise, the reason was you thought I would forget or not care anymore. To be perfectly honest, you were right, even the first time, I had begun to not really care much anymore, and I really did want to just drop it but I held it against you anyway since I was hurt you broke your promises. I'm not saying for sure one way or the other, but had you just talked to me about it and expressed how you felt, I probably would have been OK with it at that point... Because of the broken promises, I pushed further and further, telling you not to post on the forums, not to talk to certain people, particularly Nitestalker, not to play on the servers anymore, even going so far as to have you remove everyone involved with SG from your friends lists.When it all boils down to it, I was a controlling little fuck up and I treated you like shit, and I want everyone here to know it as well. I always felt like I had to prove you wrong and that I was in the right no matter what the situation, and would bring our arguments to levels absolutely unnecessary and downright abusive. I was being the same old person I hoped I wouldn't be for you, that I had been all of my life to my own family and friends. In the year and nine months we had been together I demonstrated pretty accurately how hurtful I can be, not just on you, but through the bouts I had with my brother, the things I said to my uncle, and so on. The things I said to you on the first of this month were horrid, and I didn't mean a single word of it. I am still completely disgusted with myself... When you told me the night before that I scare you, I questioned it. That next day I understood why.My mind is constantly racing every day while I'm at work, at home, or doing whatever, thinking of all the different things I want to say to you, like how much I love you, miss you, and can't stand not talking to you... Thoughts of how angry I am for the things you told me and what you've promised me, like how you dreamt of the day you would be Mrs. Danielle McCauley, or how you told me you would always love me for me no matter what. Those thoughts are immediately followed with the understanding that it's not OK for me to feel that way. It is not your fault I was such an asshole (understatement). You said those things because you were in love with who I want to be, and who I'm currently striving to be, harder than ever before, but strayed away from over the course of our relationship. I'm not proud of what I was. The only time in my entire life I've ever been proud of myself was when you were proud to call me your boyfriend.This is a jumbled mess... I had it all composed in my head earlier, and now that I'm typing it out and getting anxious I can't think straight... I'm just trying to say I'm sorry, again, for the 8 millionth time, you probably don't want to hear it, will be upset to see it, etc, etc...BeauutifulChaos: Because I just dont feel like I used to. I want to get butterflies again in my stomach when you talk to me, I want to hear you tell me how much you love me again, and how much you need me. I dont like it when you joke around and call me names, like slut or whore or whatever. I just want to feel like I did before. When we were really in love. When it didnt seem like I was just your online girl friend. But when I was something more than that.Danielle, I love you and I need you. You were never just my online girlfriend, you're the love of my life, and I would do anything to get you back.OH SHIT HI ZEUSEDIT:: For the first minute or so I was like "ok... is this Goodkat or NEXS... those are the only two crazy guys I know who have a hard-on for Dani..." Then I actually read the post. Edited October 11, 2012 by The Junzou 2 Jason and Llethander reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goldentongue 3616 Posted October 11, 2012 Sorry Zeus, she already gave me an upvote.Chaos is DTF. 6 Marine, dormantlemon, KGameLover1 and 3 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ziggity Zots Posted October 11, 2012 Good luck with that GT.And yeah, Junzou, put me in with those two. I'm pretty much insane right now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UnknownLegend 5480 Posted October 11, 2012 And yeah, Junzou, put me in with those two. I'm pretty much insane right now.I'm assuming you know as much of the story about those two as I do, so for you to include yourself in with the two of them, that's saying something. 2 Llethander and fatb0y reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ziggity Zots Posted October 11, 2012 (edited) And yeah, Junzou, put me in with those two. I'm pretty much insane right now.I'm assuming you know as much of the story about those two as I do, so for you to include yourself in with the two of them, that's saying something.Don't know the full story with Goodkat, but with NEXS... I was a part of it, and I did something that really made me feel like him. I'm sure if she ever decides to respond she'll gladly put it out here for you guys.EDIT:That is not to say I stooped as low as him, I would never do what he did, but I did get sneaky, fearing I was being lied to. Edited October 11, 2012 by Ziggity Zots Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites