Random JB Facts of the Week 7/16-7/23/2015

[Frosty_VooDoo 75]

Once again Frosty is bored and has literally nothing more entertaining to do with his time than bring you random stats pulled off the Game.me server profile. Here we go!

 

Who Can't Stop Playing?

 

RootyCat - 2d20h 

Clutch - 2d19h

 

     Racking up nearly THREE DAYS of playtime this week, Rootycat and Clutch should probably consider going outside or maybe having sex with women (or men, if that's their thing). Keep in mind this is actual play time, so if you figure people sleep 6 hours a day, these fine gentlemen have spent at least 57% of their waking hours on the jailbreak server. Now THAT's commitment. 

 

Zenon is right on their heels with 2d13h, so he may want to consider viewing the outside world as well.

 

Who Bagged the Most Points?

 

RootyCat - 6,933

JustBelieveFaggot - 6,543

Zenon - 6,402

 

Only three players reached over 6,000 points this week, and two of them are perhaps unsurprising given their playtime above. Just Believe Faggot managed to pack all those points into a third less playtime than Rooty or Zenon though, so it appears that through kill-whoring all things are possible. Remember: Kill-whoring lets you place on the leader-boards and still have time in your week for sex with women.

 

Don't Rebel if X is Playing

 

Crobat : While Crobat had a low number of kills and a low playtime this week (37 kills in 3 hours), they had a 100% accuracy. He killed 37 people and didn't fucking miss. It must be all that time on ZE making a bright orange normal-speed target just a bit too easy to hit, but the message is clear : If you run, he will shoot your bitch ass long before you make the vent.

 

Beerman : After Crobat the accuracy rating of people with a killcount worth mentioning drops off significantly, but this is Jailbreak - people shoot for no discernible reason all the time, and all those smiley faces and dicks you draw on the wall with a P90 count against your accuracy. Beerman maintains a good presence on the server and still rocks a 38% accuracy rating. Odds are he's going to shoot you before you shoot him.

 

Absolutely Feel Perfectly Fine Running (or Casually Walking) Away if X is Watching You

 

Heu

Joess Uaonn

Liu Kang

Revoker

 

These fine gentlemen each clocked over 1d of playtime this past week, and disgraced their ancestors with a mere 5% accuracy rating. More likely than not you could put on a manatee suit and roll away making retard-rage sounds and still get away clean. At least according to their accuracy; you might want to be careful with Revoker still - they may have a shit overall accuracy but they DO have a 31% Headshot ratio... so it's possible they just REALLY enjoy drawing dicks on the wall with a p90

 

!ct @Killwhorden

 

Dicey - a whopping 2.81 KDR with over 500 kills

Reign Assassin - 2.34 / 461

RootyCat - 1.93 / 931

 

I've only included the top 3 players with over 1d playtime this past week, but the image is mostly clear. To kick it off somebody might just want to slap a !ct Dicey -1 into the console, because they be killin everyone up in here. RootyCat possibly gets a pass here due to sheer amount of time played with most of it being on CT, but seriously Dicey - calm your shit.

 

I'm Just Here for !RPS

 

Cartman - 0.23

Pure^ - 0.63

 

Pure is almost entirely here for comparison to our poor Cartman, as Pure is the next lowest KDR with over 1d of playtime this week. It could perhaps be excused as Cartman simply being a good obedient child who dies to games a lot, or that he's got terrible aim. Despite his low Accuracy rating however, over a third of his kills are headshots which tells us his aim isnt as bad as the Acc tab is telling us it is. Whether he rebels or not, if you're playing T and not rebelling then why are you playing JB at all. Cartman just wants to play some RPS and eat some pie, god damnit.

 

[thorgot 2420]

!rps frosty

[Frosty_VooDoo 75]

!rps accept

[Dakota 4722]

Gotta stop shooting into the air point break style to get my accuracy up. PEOPLE CHECK THE STATS

[MONKEH 829]

Shit is too fucking funny good report bro

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