Vexium 35 Posted February 25, 2014 (edited) It has recently come to my attention that the Internet, once populated by hate-filled, hormonally-charged, acne-festered, and impotently prepubescent teenagers, is now coming full circle, and the incipient stupidity of a decade ago has feverishly pushed its way down the intestinal tracks of my generation, all the way into the awestruck, gaping mouths of the next generation of socially inept, potentially autistic computer addicts that have elected to repossess 4chan as their mutual proving grounds of mental retardation. Thus is a new, increasingly disturbing era of malignant, cancerous mediocrity born, as the bowels of yesteryear are happily munched at by the youthful recipient masses, who chew at the disease-ridden feces of what was once considered novel, as if to reiterate the cultural and collective societal significance of cats, photoshopping, and captions on motivational posters. That is all fine and dandy, and I accept the reality that those who come next in the line of what is ultimately a repetition of past endeavors will never succeed beyond imitation and redesign. That is what art is all about, after all. You take the medium and you work it to your age, your personality, and your cultural import, whatever that may signify, excluding plagiarism - which, by now, yields symbolic influence only in the euphemistic self-realization of the terminology (read: fuck you, I will use Wikipedia as a source for my sources, and rearrange the words I find from them). You are free to re-imagine the Internet all you want, but it will still be the same shit hole we used in the 90's, only with better HTML and less dial-up sounds. I don't care how different Youtube has gotten, it still breeds awareness of the unavoidable truth: a solid 75% of the human race is permanently incapable of progressing beyond the knowledge of where their coffee is in the morning, how to drive to work, what their favorite color is, and which is the cheapest drink at Happy Hour. With that in mind, let's face some facts, you people whom I call the fellow humans of my species. The Internet isn't making you any smarter. Sure, it has lots of words in it and lots of facts for you to think about. But, it also certainly has a fuckton of garbage for you to distract yourself with. This is called 'information overload'. The signal-to-noise ratio of what you interpret is very, very bad, so despite all that you think you're learning, you will likely retain diddly squat. You may have heard of this issue on one of the many TED Talks you listen to to pretend you're witty and have some sort of self-empowerment, despite feeling persistently lonely and devoid of any real, meaningful communication outside the love-stretched ditties you share with that special person you deem your significant other, who is, without a doubt, planning to cheat on you as soon as opportunity calls. Because that's how this Western-driven world works now. You take the easy way out. This is what modern society is. Cutting corners is the new cornerstone of the American dream, and the faster you realize that wonderful perpetual inebriation of capitalist free market economics, the sooner you accept that humanity is becoming more and more mentally handicapped as technology replaces our actual capabilities of cognition. You may gamble, you may play the stocks, you may save and invest, but you will always be a victim of the lifelong soul-rending system that has, at its core, the desire to suck your life out and replace it with actual dollars or hedge fund securities, because shit's just easier that way. For the vast majority of you, who had not a clue what the paragraph above delineates, let me clarify: as the human race progresses, we become more and more intertwined in our daily interactions and societal developments. It is fast reaching a point where every corner of the globe can affect the others not just culturally but monetarily. And nowadays, money is pretty much the only thing your life depends on. So what the fuck does this have to do with the Internet? Because, you bastard child of an unloved mother who married into a bad relationship for tax exemption and later divorced, leaving you with a drunken, abusive father, at least on the Internet, we should strive for something better, something that we can look forward to. Something that redefines the original sin of my predecessors and gives us an Internet community not based on reddit-savvy, pretentious dickwads who think they are self-aware through misspellings and grammatical leniencies despite merely confirming their own inane lack of intellect. I know you fuckfaces under the age of sixteen with your novelty iPads and iPhones couldn't possibly grasp this entire concept at its core, but let's try anyway. "Lol" is meant to represent laughter. Why is it a useful abbreviation? Because there are less letters involved. It saves us time and it creates an auditory sound that has evolved into a diverse expression often used to evoke the sound of laughter through figurative use. It's fucking clever. Instead of saying 'I'm laughing, that is funny', you are signifying it by typing the sound, which provides the reader with an automatic clue as to how you feel on the surface and how you gauge your own reaction. "Your" is not a fucking abbreviation. It's a possessive pronoun. "You're" is a contraction of "you are". Their usages are not the same, and every single god damn time one of you childish monkeys decides to fling your shit across the circle-jerk parade that is today's social media, you and the rest of your audience loses brain cells. 'But wait, Vex, that's not a big deal.' Shut up, you thundering swarm of shit, you lumbering sack of dog innards, you meandering line of a homeless man's intoxicated urination, you seeping, wilted pile of amorphous vegetables growing stagnant with multicolored mold and the ageless tact of utter inconsequentiality. You know nothing. But I will pardon your mildewing imbecility if you but use a simple abbreviation from hereon out: "ur". Let's discuss the magic of this two-letter abbreviation, please. First, it is "your". Second, it is "you're". Third, it is both at once, without requiring correction, yet persistently acknowledging the existence of both. Fourth, it is less letters for you to write. Fifth, you put the task of comprehension on the reader, thereby raising their intelligence quotient while simultaneously improving upon your own! All of a sudden, the grammar problems of the world have lessened without actually requiring an improvement in your understanding of grammar or language in general. You've made the Internet a better place. You've made me slightly less furious at everything. Heck, even your uncle who touched you when you were young is excited for you. You may be something after all. It's all in ur hands now, and ur probably going to go places, now that ur in control of ur words on the exciting digital spheres. Sure, you may not seem as elegant, but at least you've used internet abbreviations correctly. There may be hope for us after all. Perhaps the world can improve its artistic mediums and pursuits of progress, so long as there is a push for change and refinement. Or not. I couldn't really give two shits anyway. Just try to fuck up less, current online youth. Ur making ur ancestry of '1337' talkers look like actual professional linguists who worked for the online UN. You fucking tumblr twats. Edited February 25, 2014 by Vexium 2 6 York, Dyscivist, LOPEZ and 5 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DogsGoMeow 1606 Posted February 25, 2014 K 1 JeeCe reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tristan. 1053 Posted February 25, 2014 (edited) u wot m8 Edited February 25, 2014 by Tristan. 1 York reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sakata 1088 Posted February 25, 2014 That's a lot of text for 2 characters. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Renegade 1198 Posted February 25, 2014 I Don't know what I'm talking about so I'll just make my statement 11 1/2th paragraphs long so no one will understand the point I am trying to make, Because half of sG is too lazy to read this many words over a subject they do not care about. PS: I'm gey lel Why would you post this... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vexium 35 Posted February 25, 2014 That's a lot of text for 2 characters. It adds up. Eventually, it will save more characters than it used. Even if only one person adopts "ur" over "your". Why would you post this...This may come as a shocking revelation, but I don't entirely expect the fine youngsters of sG to be able to consciously comprehend even a sentence of what's being addressed here.But hey, even if it's just a grain of subconscious impression, it might help our fine internet wasteland in the long run. That being said, I remain dubious that more than a handful of the sG forum-goers can ascertain what's truly at stake here, and hence why I originally wrote this elsewhere and merely re-purposed and tailored it for posting on this site. Far be it from me to anticipate any degree of college education or real communal worth from members of a FPS video game community. But hey, you never know. A diamond in the rough and what not. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Name 2616 Posted February 25, 2014 10/10 would pretend to read again 2 BeauutifulChaos and Rayne reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
n2fwa 605 Posted February 25, 2014 Goddamn we attract the weirdest people. 3 BeauutifulChaos, Hardboiled_Hobo and BananaPeelz reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seabagz 257 Posted February 25, 2014 your fucking gay 1 York reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rayne 4478 Posted February 25, 2014 (edited) 10/10 would pretend to read again All I was thinking! your fucking gay You're* scrub. Edited February 25, 2014 by Rayne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Falco 235 Posted February 25, 2014 im gonna need a tl;dr someone please actually read this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mimic 3307 Posted February 25, 2014 Eddy pls post tl;dr version. 1 1 Knox and ROFL reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hardboiled_Hobo 210 Posted February 25, 2014 You're really weird. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sean 3760 Posted February 25, 2014 You're a fucking tool. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk 1 water.exe reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BananaPeelz 709 Posted February 25, 2014 Didn't read but from what I skimmed over this is what I got for you guys. tl;dr I'm better than all of you because I care about grammar on the Internet and I am truly a euphoric creature. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ElectronicDrug 7496 Posted February 25, 2014 ur mum 2 1 BeauutifulChaos, York and LOPEZ reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ryziou 538 Posted February 25, 2014 This suddenly reminds me of another topic you made a while back... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seabagz 257 Posted February 25, 2014 You're* scrub. who's the scrub now come on 1 Rayne reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kareem kotb 30 Posted February 25, 2014 (edited) Your Thesis Statement is too long and your conclusion is too short, I give this a 4/10 Edited February 25, 2014 by Kareem kotb 1 Count reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lvl. 100 Latias 711 Posted February 25, 2014 Eddy pls post tl;dr version.TL;DR ur a faggot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Siesan 1802 Posted February 25, 2014 tl:dr funny meymeys 1 water.exe reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ichalvl 1752 Posted February 25, 2014 All I was thinking! You're* scrub.You know shit is wack when Rayne has to correct someone's spelling Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rayne 4478 Posted February 25, 2014 You know shit is wack when Rayne has to correct someone's spelling^ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BeauutifulChaos 902 Posted February 25, 2014 Why? I don't even. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
