DarkPredator 1193 Posted April 6, 2013 Does it make you a strong person to keep all your shit personal and deal with it alone, meanwhile helping everyone else deal with theirs?Does it make a better person? A good person? Is it worth it? Does it matter? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elmo 1272 Posted April 6, 2013 Depends on what Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChosenOne2000 4440 Posted April 6, 2013 How can you help others if you can't help yourself? 2 Longcat and fatb0y reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marine 2580 Posted April 6, 2013 Everyone needs someone to talk to every now and then. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windmill 1521 Posted April 6, 2013 I tend to do this and its bad. I get extremely worked up and stressed because of it. But chosenone I don't think your argument is completely fair. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SexyBatman 705 Posted April 6, 2013 (edited) It doesn't make you a bad person for keeping shit to yourself, nor does it make you a good one to let it out. We all deal with it differently. Edited April 6, 2013 by Sexy Batman Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fat Black Woman 257 Posted April 6, 2013 It makes you a good person if you go out of your way to help others and to make the world a better place regardless of your situation. That being said, you should talk to someone about your personal stuff. It may not be easy, but it will help to get it out. It's not healthy to bottle things up, nor will it make things any better. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Super Novacaine 2228 Posted April 6, 2013 If you need a shoulder to cry on Dark, I'm here for you. 3 LOPEZ, Papa and Mitch reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Illogical 1126 Posted April 6, 2013 I do the same thing. I know its bad for me and it is slowly driving me into insanity. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChosenOne2000 4440 Posted April 6, 2013 I tend to do this and its bad. I get extremely worked up and stressed because of it. But chosenone I don't think your argument is completely fair.Its not an argument, its a principal all healthcare providers (and especially mental health providers) use called provider resiliency training (PRT). I teach it...http://www.army.mil/article/14683/program-helps-bolster-resilience-of-military-health-care-providers/How can you take care of others if you can't take care of yourself? 1 Longcat reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Oreo 2073 Posted April 6, 2013 Men are more inclined towards keeping it inside and trying to deal with it themselves, whereas women tend to be more outspoken with it. That being said, having dealt with depression and keeping it inside, I would say it's more of a negative thing to do. I'm actually very similar to the first part, helping others deal with it while keeping it inside to myself and I feel Chosen makes a good point. It's tougher to deal with it, than it is to help someone with it but going through it definitely helped me understand people who suffered from it even more than I did before. We tend to think that we're strong to hold it in but in all actuality it leads to more issues. I wouldn't really say you're weak for holding it in or letting it out. I think, letting someone know that you're dealing with it yourself, gives them more comfort because they know that they're speaking to someone who has suffered or is suffering from the same affliction as they are. If it's on a personal level and you're speaking with the person one to one, I think it's better to mention it because then they know. It's completely worth it because it also helps you, while you're helping that person. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir. Hot Mayo 1143 Posted April 6, 2013 Sounds like a needy asshole that wants sympathy from others.And you've probably tried to communicate some of your shit, but (s)he, probably turns the subject back to his or herself. Am I right? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sketchmaticx 3170 Posted April 6, 2013 move on Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch 2111 Posted April 6, 2013 Does it make you a strong person to keep all your shit personal and deal with it alone, meanwhile helping everyone else deal with theirs?Does it make a better person? A good person? Is it worth it? Does it matter?If they don't know, why does it matter?You are the only person who knows the best way to deal with the shit you're going through in life. Whether it's keeping it to yourself or venting it out to a good friend, whatever works for you is the best method despite what anyone or anything else has to say about it. If that's worth it to you or not, once again that's your opinion.Being a "strong person" is subject to your own interpretation of it, whether or not it makes you a strong person is up to you. My opinion is that as long as you can play it off like you're perfectly fine, that makes you a strong enough person. It's also your personal choice whether helping other people deal with their problems makes you a strong person, once again it's pretty subjective. Sure it makes you a better person/good person for helping someone else, but keeping your problems to yourself has no influence (imo) over how good of a person you are in relative to others. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xmen 983 Posted April 6, 2013 How can you help others if you can't help yourself?But but......... You're helping yourself and others cause you can deal with it all? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LOPEZ 1750 Posted April 6, 2013 lifting makes you strong 2 Sir. Hot Mayo and DogsGoMeow reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DogsGoMeow 1606 Posted April 6, 2013 lifting makes you strongThe Question is, do YOU even lift?! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LOPEZ 1750 Posted April 6, 2013 lifting makes you strongThe Question is, do YOU even lift?!lol bro, let's not start to talk about how much I lift. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JMaFia 1317 Posted April 6, 2013 (edited) IMO answer is no/yes, it doesn't even make you the wisest of person, let alone strong. But you could still help people, it isn't impossible, you probably forget about your problems when you're among friends anyways.Be wary though, one day you will lash out on people with furious anger due to bottling your emotions, try lifting to alleviate stress or screaming in your pillow, talking to people, being out more, w.e makes you happy tbh. Edited April 6, 2013 by JMaFia Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windmill 1521 Posted April 6, 2013 I tend to do this and its bad. I get extremely worked up and stressed because of it. But chosenone I don't think your argument is completely fair.Its not an argument, its a principal all healthcare providers (and especially mental health providers) use called provider resiliency training (PRT). I teach it...http://www.army.mil/...care-providers/How can you take care of others if you can't take care of yourself?That's great, but you still made an argument, and that doesn't take a PhD to understand.You're also implying all people who deal with problems on their own cannot take care of themselves and, because of that, cannot help others. So, because I don't express my issues to my friends that means I can't listen to and help them with their own problems?I'll remember that the next time a friend expresses suicidal thoughts. Sorry can't help. 2 JFK and JMaFia reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChosenOne2000 4440 Posted April 6, 2013 I tend to do this and its bad. I get extremely worked up and stressed because of it. But chosenone I don't think your argument is completely fair.Its not an argument, its a principal all healthcare providers (and especially mental health providers) use called provider resiliency training (PRT). I teach it...http://www.army.mil/...care-providers/How can you take care of others if you can't take care of yourself?That's great, but you still made an argument, and that doesn't take a PhD to understand.You're also implying all people who deal with problems on their own cannot take care of themselves and, because of that, cannot help others. So, because I don't express my issues to my friends that means I can't listen to and help them with their own problems?I'll remember that the next time a friend expresses suicidal thoughts. Sorry can't help.Again, it's not an arguement. It's a principal of PRT. In addition to PRT, other self care modalities use it as well. The goal is to stave off compassion fatigue. You're right you don't need a doctorate to understand this concept. I teach it to combat medics and CNAs. They can grasp the concept just fine. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windmill 1521 Posted April 7, 2013 I tend to do this and its bad. I get extremely worked up and stressed because of it. But chosenone I don't think your argument is completely fair.Its not an argument, its a principal all healthcare providers (and especially mental health providers) use called provider resiliency training (PRT). I teach it...http://www.army.mil/...care-providers/How can you take care of others if you can't take care of yourself?That's great, but you still made an argument, and that doesn't take a PhD to understand.You're also implying all people who deal with problems on their own cannot take care of themselves and, because of that, cannot help others. So, because I don't express my issues to my friends that means I can't listen to and help them with their own problems?I'll remember that the next time a friend expresses suicidal thoughts. Sorry can't help.Again, it's not an arguement. It's a principal of PRT. In addition to PRT, other self care modalities use it as well. The goal is to stave off compassion fatigue. You're right you don't need a doctorate to understand this concept. I teach it to combat medics and CNAs. They can grasp the concept just fine.I was actually referring to the concept of what an argument is when I said a doctorate isn't needed to understand. I'm sure PRT is a more difficult concept, but here's a definition for argument:"a claim or proposition put forward along with reasons or evidence supporting it."You claimed, by not effectively expressing yourself, a person cannot help others. You supported that with everything that followed.Maybe it'd be more reasonable to say if you can't let others help you with your problems, you won't be able to as effectively help others with theirs. Also, it might be reasonable to suggest a soldier who watched his buddy get blown up in a HMVEE is having a more stressful time than someone like me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChosenOne2000 4440 Posted April 7, 2013 I tend to do this and its bad. I get extremely worked up and stressed because of it. But chosenone I don't think your argument is completely fair.Its not an argument, its a principal all healthcare providers (and especially mental health providers) use called provider resiliency training (PRT). I teach it...http://www.army.mil/...care-providers/How can you take care of others if you can't take care of yourself?That's great, but you still made an argument, and that doesn't take a PhD to understand.You're also implying all people who deal with problems on their own cannot take care of themselves and, because of that, cannot help others. So, because I don't express my issues to my friends that means I can't listen to and help them with their own problems?I'll remember that the next time a friend expresses suicidal thoughts. Sorry can't help.Again, it's not an arguement. It's a principal of PRT. In addition to PRT, other self care modalities use it as well. The goal is to stave off compassion fatigue. You're right you don't need a doctorate to understand this concept. I teach it to combat medics and CNAs. They can grasp the concept just fine.I was actually referring to the concept of what an argument is when I said a doctorate isn't needed to understand. I'm sure PRT is a more difficult concept, but here's a definition for argument:"a claim or proposition put forward along with reasons or evidence supporting it."You claimed, by not effectively expressing yourself, a person cannot help others. You supported that with everything that followed.Maybe it'd be more reasonable to say if you can't let others help you with your problems, you won't be able to as effectively help others with theirs. Also, it might be reasonable to suggest a soldier who watched his buddy get blown up in a HMVEE is having a more stressful time than someone like me.Semantics, but you get the point. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
I Am Mr. Big ((:))+< 0 Posted April 7, 2013 Personally, I love helping my friends with their problems, but I'm usually private with my own problems. I don't even tell my parents or even my girl. I do talk to my best friend at times, but even then I hate admitting I need someone else's input. Call me stubborn, oh well, but I do hear quite a lot from people. I'm a senior at my high school, and I've spoken to probably 100's of people with their problems. I'm reliable with secrets, so people are comfortable with confiding in me. I enjoy it, since I feel like I've helped somone with their lives. Hell, I talked a friend out of suicide once, and that's something no one should even think about. Everyone deals with grief and saddness in their own rite, its up to them to figure out what's the best way for them to get help. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites