Timeassassin103

Glockness Monster

its on sale. i have 2 copies up for grabs. you must be on my friends list on steam and not own the game. 

It was one fine October evening that Knox, Name, and I decided to enjoy a leisurely game of Defense of The Ancients 2.
As we went about our journey, we met a peculiar soul who's name was Sherlock.

 
Oh boy, his parents set him up for disaster in life, naming their son Sherlock when he doesn't have a clue.
Poor, poor Sherlock.
Sherlock has a rare disease known as "selfishness." Nobody could blame him really, he was forced to be a strong and independent soul! At age 27, Sherlock found himself all alone, lost in the world of Dota with nobody to trust but himself.
He began his adventures with a pure heart, set only upon the desire to have fun. He wanted to play Captain's Draft, the new game mode where teamwork was most crucial in order to win. However, our dear friend sherlock soon learned just how cruel the world of Dota is.

 
"This is going great so far! I can't wait to play more!"
 


 
"THIS IS GREAT! MY TEAM IS WINNING BECAUSE OF ME! I AM THE SOLE PURPOSE OF THEIR VICTORIES! I WILL BE THE GREATEST DOTA PLAY EVER!"
 
 

 
At this point, Sherlock began to grow desperate. "Certainly it is not my fault my team is horrible! After all, I was their captain! If only they, the infantry, had done better for me, their king, then we would have won!"
Sherlock's disease began to strengthen within him and tear into Sherlock's emotions. One game became two games, two became four, and soon after, Sherlock began to amass weeks into the game he once played for a little on the weekend.

Addiction soon set in. Sherlock was determined that he would become the greatest Captain that Captain's Draft had ever seen, and would be retold of as a legend to future generations of video game players.
As his body deteriorated from lack of Vitamin D, so did Sherlock's will against buying superficial things. He had to have the greatest looking characters for when he achieved his moment of crowning glory where he would be crowned king of all of Dota.


 
Sherlock was in critical condition. He had to get a win sooner or later, or he would become irreparably broken.

He noticed that even he began to lose his focus, becoming a more aggressively terrible player as time went on. He needed a deux es machina, a hail mary, something big that would turn his life around.
It was at this moment, that Sherlock entered our lives and realized what monstrosity had been created.
"I'm your Captain now! You shall have no say in what you want to play, because this is MY game and we'll play it MY way."
"But, that's not how Dota is meant to be played." we pleaded with him. "It's a team game, where we get to have fun together and win as a team."
 
 
 
These words struck Sherlock in the heart. He began to realize the monster he had become, and how much time he had wasted on his distorted dreams to ascend the ladder to martyrdom as a Dota legend.
However, at this point, it was too late. Shadow Fiend mauled through the towers of the Radiant as The Invoker, Nyx, and Alchemist tried to fend off the oncoming slaughter. The flames began to grow as desolation set over the land Sherlock had once loved.
"We could have won, Sherlock. Only if you had listened to us."
Sherlock stood AFK in fountain, unmoving and unspeaking.
"You were selfish. You wanted to win by your own means because you thought your mindset was better than everyone elses. Other people have values too, Sherlock. And sometimes, you might find that even though they don't see eye-to-eye with you, they can give you knowledge beyond what you could ever hope for. The World ends with you. You can choose who you open up to, and how far the borders of your heart open." At this time, the Ancient began to wane as the stone structure tumbled into the ground. Sherlock lifted up his eyes, one last time, on the same moon he had once started his journey under.
And then, the flames overtook him.
 

 
 
The Tragedy of Sherlock could have been prevented, if only someone else had come to intervene his journey into the depths of selfishness before it was too late. We have the power to stop more Sherlocks from rising up. We can stop this.
 
We must learn to cope with the mentally unstable of the Dota community, no matter how retarded they may appear at first glance. We can change their ways and reforge their broken hearts into a solid piece of loyalty.
Never forget the story of Sherlock. Make a difference. Pass on his legacy.

GET SOME
 

It's about damn time,
I work as a web developer for Gold Bridge Partners Inc. and in the Maine Army National Guard (4 years so far) as a 94E Radio-Communications Security Technican.
 
I've been missing you guys

Life hacks: Brought to you by Sweetrock

A policeman searched me in a Nightclub toilet last night and found a small bag of weed.
"It's not my fault," I said, "Every time I try flushing it down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again."
"Do you really expect me to believe that?" he laughed.
I said, "I'll prove it to you if you want me to!"
"Go on then." he smiled, handing me the bag.
After flushing it, he looked at me and said, "Well, show me your pocket then."
"What for?" I asked.
He said, "The drugs."
I said, "What drugs?"

If you post in this thread and I like you I'll + rep you!
Unless you post that you want negative rep and then I'll neg rep you!
Unless I don't like you then I'll do the opposite of what I just said...
And if I don't know you at all I'll flip my dick up and if it lands right side up I'll neg rep you

Reenabled KJ (because it doesn't seem to be crashing any more).

Enchanted Chainmail (-6 damage) is a go thanks to Jiyeon's event prize.

Silenced weapons are now saved by crusader's wish.
 
This was a more difficult change than you might think.

Added invis, gravity, and speed to playerinfo. Long overdue.

Methodical is out. Try and max out the 25hp expertise!
 
Sadly, it wasn't feasible to go to negative xp or to lose levels, but I think you'll find it odious enough to level.

Trickster Assassin is out and working. I need to figure out some more barrel models that can be used as prop_physics, and the expertise isn't done, but it should be good for now.

Wizard of the Everlasting will awake from his slumber at midnight at the start of the contest.
 
e: He has awoken.

Thor is fixed and is back at level 350.

Added Archimonde yesterday, added Jarmen Kell today. Fixed a bunch of bugs this weekend too.

Mimic and I have fixed the ad problem for the foreseeable future.
 
If you're wondering what was happening, there's been an exploit in CSGO for a long time that people were using to upload an ad plugin to the server (and many other CS:GO servers in the world). We've added an extension which completely blocks this. We would never put ads or anything like that on our servers.

I neglected to add that SuccubusPimp was added; Thorgot had to recompile it for me due to my compiling against a newer version of csgo. this caused issues for other races and is now resolved. I did go in to restrict health, speed, and jump items for the race. 

nerfed/buffed a bunch of stuff - results will be pushed in a few days time.
 
Special thanks to Ika. for bringing these things to my attention.
 
Succubus Hunter
Increased skull gain from 5-30% chance to 15-40% chance Scaled skull gain appropriately with shotguns Human Lawnmower
Increased movement speed from 8-42% to 25-50% Scaled damage resist from 10-50% to 25-50% Increased fly time from 1-3 seconds to 1-4 seconds SWAT Officer
Fixed a bug where bonus damage was not working Implemented a new skill "Combat Training" Dread Knight
Buffed auto-entangle from 1.5 seconds to 2.0 seconds Implemented a new skill "Corruption" Ultimate still pending - reasons being the code for this race is complicated and I want to keep the complexity for each skill Succubus pimp??? the fuk?
I think I fixed the headshot evasion I think I fixed the ult? Now blinds all enemies in a 50 ft radius around the player (instead of just one in front of you like before, regardless of whether that player was looking at you or not) Driz msg me we got shit to talk about <3 Soul Reaper
Increased range of Ult from 30 ft to 50 ft Cannibal
Increased power of longjump from 25-35ft to 30-40ft per jump Increased invisibility from 50% invisibility at max to 60% invisibility at max Gobble now increases maximum hp cap by 20-80 (so cannibal can now have 140-200 hp with gobble) Elemental
Invisibility reduced from 50% invisibility at max to 40% invisibility at max Hp regeneration decreased from 2.2 hp/second at max to 2.05 hp/second at max Ultimate now gives notifications Hammerstorm
Increased storm bolt radius from 15-22.5 ft to 20-30ft Damage reduction now works and also reduces damage by 5-20% Increased movement speed from 6-15% to 10-25% Master Sniper
Fixed/Reworked precision Now spawns with the pistol "five seven" instead of "desert eagle" All description files were changed accordingly

http://vocaroo.com/i/s08tcoWzONXq

RIP JCS MARVIN

You RDM for not having an opinion?
 
You're also best friends with Samuel L. Jackson, JEALOUS.

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