Clarkus 63 Posted April 28, 2014 (edited) You'll get through this buddy, you have the forums support, and mine if you need it. This is a big bump in your life I understand I've had some recent passes in my family as well so I can almost relate. Stay strong brobro Edited April 28, 2014 by clarkus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bob Ross Zombie 1512 Posted April 29, 2014 I wish I could offer you more then just my thoughts and prayers man. You know you have a loving family of friends here, anytime you need me, I'll be around dude Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seanyo 35 Posted April 30, 2014 I'm sorry for your loss Demon. Trust me and go and talk to some one. It's worth it. It'll help a lot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle_Ninja 34 Posted April 30, 2014 Randy pointed out that you shouldn't look to smoking or other bad habits to cope with this and when I was a sophomore in high school this kid who I had been annoyed with because he had been "mean" to me the past couple years ever since we were on the same Y football team in elementary school, and because he was better than me at a couple of things. I thought that I could care less what happened to him, well he shot himself and I just shut myself into a corner in my head and tried not to deal with anything I shortly picked up smoking weed, cigs, and drinking and quickly began doing all of those quite heavily it wasn't until about a year ago that I was able to even consider stopping smoking let alone accomplish it and I have only recently gotten my drinking under control so that I at least think I wont die of liver failure at 25. On top of it having taken me five years to stop the shit I was in when I finally stopped doing that crap I realized how worthless I had been for the last couple years and almost dove headfirst into the grave I had been digging for myself because of that nauseating fact. Even though I thought it was a good escape, that crap only lasts for a while I couldn't be a bump on a couch forever. Took me awhile to figure that out, if you need anything demon let me know. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yeet 1050 Posted April 30, 2014 (edited) Thanks you all so much, you have no idea how much you've helped me cope with this guys. His funeral is friday and I'm going to be a pallbearer, I'm carrying his body to his own grave. A little brother carrying his stronger and older brother to his grave shouldn't be something that should ever happen.....again thank you all so much, it puts tears to my eyes thinking about how much support I get from you guys. Don't take your loved ones for granted, remember this guys. I don't care if you fight with your family member or hate each other because by the time you realize how much you love them, they're already gone like in my situation. I don't want any of you ever to go through what I am right now because honestly this is the hardest thing I've ever done. I constantly get nightmares about "what if I called him? I could have saved him? Why didn't I call him?" I've had nightmares where I see his body hanging and I can't wake up from them and he just stares as me as I sit in the corner begging him to stop. My life is turned upside down in this moment but I know I can rise above this. It only can get better from here right? I'm not sure if I'm in denial about it but I have hope. The image is burned into my mind but like most wounds, it will eventually heal. Please keep your loved ones close Edited April 30, 2014 by Demon 4 ROFL, BeauutifulChaos, Bob Ross Zombie and 1 other reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sean 3760 Posted April 30, 2014 Be a stronger brother for him, bud. Sent from my SGH-I747 using Tapatalk Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BeauutifulChaos 902 Posted April 30, 2014 <3 It's good to see you are trying to stay positive. Just keep his memory alive and be happy for him, because he's always going to be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bob Ross Zombie 1512 Posted April 30, 2014 Honestly, the hardest thing to do in this moment is to not dwell on it. Keep yourself active and away from being alone and thinking of it. Some time away with friends and family will help the most. be strong man. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yeet 1050 Posted May 2, 2014 Well I'm in Minnesota for his funeral right now and I just realized that today is his birthday, fuuuuccckkk Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites