Need opinions on what to do

[n2fwa 605]

So i have this female friend who is 17 years old who is going in the complete wrong direction.

She smokes at least 2 times a day, and just recently her parents decided to get a divorce after arguing about her smoking. (she thinks its all her fault when it isn't, her parents are just dumb and selfish)

Her parents are completely useless and her sisters are her friends and role models and she goes to parties with her 21 year old sister and meets 20 year old fellas there. Plus , her sister provides her with alot of the drugs

She got into poping pills, (vicoden, xanax) shrooms, and even cocaine...

She also says that she hates herself and that no one loves her... which kind of worried me.

Me and two of my friends, including my ex, are basically her only true friends and we are trying to figure out what to do..

Any Opinions?

[Elmo 1272]

Tell her to get out of there. Go rehab if possible

[Goldentongue 3616]

Well, you could either approach it head on and try a sort of intervention, but that could potentially backfire if she thinks you're being too pushy.

The other option is that you and your two friends could come up with as many other things to do with her as possible that don't involve drugs/hard partying. Have dinner together, go see a movie, chill at someone's house and have a few drinks (alcohol can be helpful and safe in good moderation and good company). Give her the mindset that there are people there for her, and there is a way to have a good time without being self destructive. Really try to get her to spend a lot of time with the right people. I know it can sound time consuming, but hey, it's a chance for you to hang out with your friends as well.

My freshman year of college, I had a close highschool friend who was on the verge of suicide (never did drugs or partied or anything like that, just was lonely and depressed), and simply getting her out of the house with friends and giving her a chance to socialize with people who cared about her completely turned things around.

[Faded 266]

Be there for her and make sure she understands that you guys always will be, try and get her some help with the drugs, and make sure you watch for any other worrying signs. If you think it is possible she might try and kill herself you need to get her help as soon as possible, such as she says she just wants to end it ect.

[n2fwa 605]

Well, you could either approach it head on and try a sort of intervention, but that could potentially backfire if she thinks you're being too pushy.

The other option is that you and your two friends could come up with as many other things to do with her as possible that don't involve drugs/hard partying. Have dinner together, go see a movie, chill at someone's house and have a few drinks (alcohol can be helpful and safe in good moderation and good company). Give her the mindset that there are people there for her, and there is a way to have a good time without being self destructive. Really try to get her to spend a lot of time with the right people. I know it can sound time consuming, but hey, it's a chance for you to hang out with your friends as well.

My freshman year of college, I had a close highschool friend who was on the verge of suicide (never did drugs or partied or anything like that, just was lonely and depressed), and simply getting her out of the house with friends and giving her a chance to socialize with people who cared about her completely turned things around.

The getting her out of the house and hanging with her definately works, but she still hangs with us high half of the time, even though none of us smoke... she also says she HATES being sober because she feels guilty but what she doesnt get is that she feels guilty because of the things she does while she isn't sober...

[Goldentongue 3616]

The getting her out of the house and hanging with her definately works, but she still hangs with us high half of the time, even though none of us smoke... she also says she HATES being sober because she feels guilty but what she doesnt get is that she feels guilty because of the things she does while she isn't sober...

Do you or any of your other friends drink at all?

[n2fwa 605]

Not those 2 friends, but i've got other friends who smoke and drink.. I've got no problem with people smoking or drinking its when you take it too far and you are 17 when i start to have a problem.

[Goldentongue 3616]

Not those 2 friends, but i've got other friends who smoke and drink.. I've got no problem with people smoking or drinking its when you take it too far and you are 17 when i start to have a problem.

I'm pretty much the same.

Maybe you could try drinking with her some, but just much less than getting absolutely hammered and shitfaced. Help her work her way down from that while still having a good time.

[n2fwa 605]

I'm pretty much the same.

Maybe you could try drinking with her some, but just much less than getting absolutely hammered and shitfaced. Help her work her way down from that while still having a good time.

The thing is I don't drink, never have and i don't plan on it for a while. She has a good time hanging with us 3, but we don't have the time to do it anymore with school starrting back up

[Kelso 4]

kill her

now you dont have to worry about it.

[TURKISH RAMBO 9]

I'm pretty much the same.

Maybe you could try drinking with her some, but just much less than getting absolutely hammered and shitfaced. Help her work her way down from that while still having a good time.

Yes, reinforce her habit with differant drugs. thatll work.

[Goldentongue 3616]

Yes, reinforce her habit with differant drugs. thatll work.

Going cold sober isn't going to happen, and even if it did, it wouldn't be helpful. More than likely she would rebound worse than before. I've seen it happen.

There is a responsible happy medium. And as he mentioned, alcohol is already a problem. Alcohol is a different drug from alcohol?

Learn how people work and learn what words mean. This isn't some show on MTV.

If you have nothing helpful to contribute, wait until someone asks how to build the perfect computer and then chime in so they can completely ignore you and make you rage.

[TURKISH RAMBO 9]

Hokay,

set her straight. tell her shes going to have a very poor and lonely life if she keeps it up?

and golden, it is sometimes best to quit cold turkey even if they have to go though withdrawals.

[ctark 1983]

Hockey,

set her straight. tell her shes going to have a very poor and lonely life if she keeps it up?

and golden, it is sometimes best to quit cold turkey even if they have to go though withdrawals.

Ya but unless you have the will power to stop, it's not gonna happen, and it could just make things worse.

For example, if it doesn't work, she could rebound on something, say the vicodin or even the coke (or anything else she is on) and she might just OD... I have seen friends who have come close to this, and it's not fun, trust me.

Like Golden is saying, show that you can have a fun time without abusing stuff.

I have always believed in drinking in moderation. Just remember to draw the line, and make sure you are having a good time. Change isn't over night, don't rush shit, and don't push the subject too much.

The fact that she hangs out with you a good chunk of time is probably the best thing, as you have control then, if you push and she pulls away, seeing you a lot less or non at all, then you won't be able to help.

Sometimes finding a better, less risky drug is better in the long run, replacing coke with alcohol is definitely better. One step at a time.....

[tex1an2 680]

It's hard to break a habit, and even harder to break a habit when there's no motivation from the individual whilst living in the same circumstances. Rehab works because it removes a person from the influences that beset them. Honestly, I'd suggest talking to her school counselor. There may be other options that you've not considered.

If this is your true friend, and she's in serious jeopardy, you need to be willing to lose a friendship to save a friend.

[Failsniper 2]

Helping her won't work out unless she wants to help herself, same with wanting her to change for the better. I personally had been in a similar situation where friend <A> starts getting sad and then experiments with all types of drugs. I tried seeing if friend <A> wanted to quit but still wanted to go full out party mode. Fast forward 3 months with drama, concerns and problems. I just told <A> that I can't have people like that and I told <A> that I'd be willing to help only if <A> wanted help. I offered <A> services with a social worker but she only went once and it was a waste of my time to even try and make arrangements for <A> that time. Current situation right now is that <A> is back in school(<A> dropped out for a semester) anddddddddd. Everything turned out better than expected.

If you're planning on sticking with her while trying to help her, expect disappointment and relief if your friend ever decides to get on the right track.

[RKeaton 234]

Tell her that her actions are hurting more people than just herself. Tell her she needs to realize that she has a problem and state what you think would be the best decision for her to take on stopping her bad habits. If she has a conscience, when she really thinks about what you're saying than this should be a good first step.

[Dead Donkey 49]

Now, I dont really get it. I mean, obviously coke is terrible and you should do something - but smoking twice a day? TWICE a day? Thats not gonna do a thing to you.

I mean, maybe its just that im irish, but I was smoking+smoking weed+drinking by the age of 13, havent had problems...

[Lololuke182 0]

Ahh man, Best thing to do is to show her that there are better things to do in life,

Get here to concentrate on something like a new hobby or what ever. When shes doing soemthing she enjoys the drugs will just wear off(hopefully).

Also tell her to Speak to her parents about it all, will ease the stress of thinking its all her fault, If they do blame her then she really need to see some form of professional help. When my dad lost his mother he had a mental breakdown, he tried all sorts of "happy pills(non aboosive, depression pills), turns out in the end all he needed was support from his friends and someone professional to talk to.

Hope it all goes well mate:)

[n2fwa 605]

It's hard to break a habit, and even harder to break a habit when there's no motivation from the individual whilst living in the same circumstances. Rehab works because it removes a person from the influences that beset them. Honestly, I'd suggest talking to her school counselor. There may be other options that you've not considered.

If this is your true friend, and she's in serious jeopardy, you need to be willing to lose a friendship to save a friend.

She left high school her junior year to be homeschooled and she graduated early.. she starts college today...

@Cwaff - Thats your choice man, i don't have a problem with smoking and drinking every once in a while but i think twice a day is retarded... heck, i think ONCE a day is retarded. I think its dumb if you have to take a drug to feel good or be happy or even be accepted by your peers. What i DO have a problem with is the fact that she is going to more hardcore drugs and her sisters, role models, are urging her on.. Also its her mind set

@lololuke - From what she tells me both her parents told her they don't love her and her dad doesnt talk to her if they are in the same room so thay are just useless pieces of shit at this point

[tex1an2 680]

She left high school her junior year to be homeschooled and she graduated early.. she starts college today...

Huh. This eerily sounds like my sister, nix the family issues. The majority of colleges have licensed counselors, you may want to call in and inform him/her of your friends situation.

[n2fwa 605]

Huh. This eerily sounds like my sister, nix the family issues. The majority of colleges have licensed counselors, you may want to call in and inform him/her of your friends situation.

Yeah, might be a good idea. I think she opened up to a lady at my church that is basically all of the high school girls' church mom so that will probably help too...

[russ 8]

Get her to do other shit, if she says shes gonna go smoke, tell her to come to the movies, if shes going to a party tell her a few of your friends are hanging out and shes welcome to come. act interested to show her someone cares. introduce her to friends you trust so she doesnt only know drug users/bad influences.if she says she hates her life tell her it could be worse, make up a lie about a friend having no parents, turned to drugs and died at 18 of a drug overdose, convince her that her habits are unhealthy and help her get over them. Tell her she can still smoke ciggs/weed but the extreme shit like popping pill/cocaine has to stop.