"Lopez monthly giveaway"

[Guest Cheshire kitty]

There had to be one.

---------- Post added at 10:26 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:25 PM ----------

I don't care if you googled that shit, that is by far the best.

mine was from the heart :c

[Sharkmage 0]

Lopez, I have no interest in your filthy money. I just want to have sex with your butt.

[Tubbles 252]

I wrote it, from the bottom of my heart.

also, my junk.

[Kelso 4]

Lopez,

Your glasses are reminiscent of African blood diamonds, in the fact they are responsible for the deaths of many, but not by machete, but by mere looks

Your jewfro is reminiscent of Larry Silverstein, in the fact that it would take 2 airplanes to even disturb it, as if it were made from the pubes of God himself

Your face is reminiscent of a hatchet, it's sharp and demands respect similar to when Gregory Peck acts in a movie, and in contrast to when a pimp slaps his bitch, and yet somehow it's softer than the Royale kittens

And lastly, but certainly not least, your weed toking abilities rival even the most cannabis resilient ni-... African American, except that your dick is white and you don't survive on welfare which you don't deserve

Lopez, never have you or I ever communicated or become close, but know this my love, I fantasize of drinking your probably-filthy bathwater, and pissing it back into your mouth later.

We are lovers, Lopez. Show your love to me by giving me $15. I'm not even shooting for the 20 because I know your Jew heart would not allow such a ludicrous amount to slip away from you for free,

a sign of my innate and natural ability to know my lover like a pop song from 2009.

[Lesbian Dad 555]

Kitty so far really made me cry.

you're fucking stupid.

[Psycho 0]

I love you because you might give me money.

So I love you because I'm a prostitute.

[Granado. 0]

well mexican drunk best friend i see its very noice of you to do this contest bro. fuckin love you always will. now i have a stoned pic of a guy from the netherlands on my profile. oh and today on the golf course i found a pack of smokes that was full and you know what i thought of.... YOU.

[Dakota 4722]

[insert ass-kissing statement about lopez in the hopes of getting more money]

[Milo 4]

I think this is a stupid, and immature way to troll the guy who made his thread about giving away a free steam game. BUT YOU ARE A PRETTY COOL GUY WHO DOESNT AFRAID OF ANYTHING.

[thinkTWICE* 0]

I think Lopez is a great, wonderful, love, careful, care-giving, lovely guy and should be RAPED

jk <3

[Lazzy 0]

Lopez, I love you. I love you more than you could ever realize. Lopez, I would give you greens. I would give you the last kief pack. I would hand you my last joint.

Forever in your heart,

Lazzy.

[Marine 2580]

Remember that time, You were on the best weed ever because I lent you some, and you got those 3 girls pregnant from that 4 way I set you up with, And you weren't prepared to be a father? You also Remember how they all had miscarriages? Yeah...I'm such a good friend aren't I?

[Puff 68]

Lopez, you're a foreign faggot that I hate. Give me your money.

[Fiasco 10]

Lopez, if you give me the 20$ I will invest in BP stocks and become ungodly rich then meet you in whatever god forsaken country you live in and give you 20% of my earnings.

but srsly, I will spend it on either...

A. Porn

B. Pirate Hookers

C. My trip to Clay's..

am i doing it rite?

[LOPEZ 1750]

Remember that time, You were on the best weed ever because I lent you some, and you got those 3 girls pregnant from that 4 way I set you up with, And you weren't prepared to be a father? You also Remember how they all had miscarriages? Yeah...I'm such a good friend aren't I?

I must have been so drunk that I don't remember =/w

Lopez,

Your glasses are reminiscent of African blood diamonds, in the fact they are responsible for the deaths of many, but not by machete, but by mere looks

Your jewfro is reminiscent of Larry Silverstein, in the fact that it would take 2 airplanes to even disturb it, as if it were made from the pubes of God himself

Your face is reminiscent of a hatchet, it's sharp and demands respect similar to when Gregory Peck acts in a movie, and in contrast to when a pimp slaps his bitch, and yet somehow it's softer than the Royale kittens

And lastly, but certainly not least, your weed toking abilities rival even the most cannabis resilient ni-... African American, except that your dick is white and you don't survive on welfare which you don't deserve

Lopez, never have you or I ever communicated or become close, but know this my love, I fantasize of drinking your probably-filthy bathwater, and pissing it back into your mouth later.

We are lovers, Lopez. Show your love to me by giving me $15. I'm not even shooting for the 20 because I know your Jew heart would not allow such a ludicrous amount to slip away from you for free,

a sign of my innate and natural ability to know my lover like a pop song from 2009.

By far, the best.

Lopez, if you give me the 20$ I will invest in BP stocks and become ungodly rich then meet you in whatever god forsaken country you live in and give you 20% of my earnings.

but srsly, I will spend it on either...

A. Porn

B. Pirate Hookers

C. My trip to Clay's..

am i doing it rite?

Kind of, atleast your being honest on what you're going to be spending it on :3

Lopez, you're a foreign faggot that I hate. Give me your money.

[Marine 2580]

I must have been so drunk that I don't remember =/w

By far, the best.

Kind of, atleast your being honest on what you're going to be spending it on :3

Fine..Time to try and top tubbles and kelso...

Lopez..Looking into your eyes are like starring into stars, twas be amazing when starring into them, While your hair glistens in the sun with it's black smoothness which is like that of the softest virgin wolf vagina around, while your skin just makes everyone around you want to feel how soft it is. Your scent can turn the most vile smells into pure bliss, While at the same time your soothing voice even just heard as a whisper or yell can turn the most virgin girl wet in an instant and yet it can make most men cower away at your will and discretion. While even your dick just being ard could break through an inch ton of steel while bringing a girl to a semi-stroke of pure pleasure and extasy. While even soft your penis could out do any other man in giving pleasure to a women. And with your cum that spits out cum into girls mouths while tasting like the purist candy ever to touch her lips would make any woman want every drip to drizzle down her throat every time they had the chance to taste such a gift from such a godly man. Even just a stroke of your amazingly large and thick penis against a women would send her into such a shock that she would nearly become a vegetable in a mear moment of time. While the skin on your testicals are as smooth as a new born babies skin and smell like that of a garden of the sweetest smelling flowers in Holland. While you have all the elements of the Earth created in you, Earth, Wind, Fire, Water, Love...You are captain planet.

No homo.

[Tubbles 252]

Try hard faggots copying my shit. Get your own form of testicle sucking. I took the god damned similes.

EDIT: AND METAPHORS. THEY'RE MINE. RAWR.

Your sinewy, muscular, outstretched calves bring to mind a masterly crafted longbow carved from an ancient red oak that could kill a fly from 4000 yards away with pin-point accuracy. You have the torso of a god Michelangelo could only wish to sculpt out of the finest marble. You're considered a natural disaster in many countries because when you set foot on foreign soil you bring the threat of flooding due to the countless women who climax during your visit. Your biceps could crush a walnut within it's apex, and then grind the nut inside to a fine powder which one with any common sense would consider a delicacy. When I say your name I forget who I am for a day and become blind with passion, in which I've destroyed countless television sets during fits of rage when I repeatedly and hopelessly realize Lopez Tonight is hosted by some mexican asshole. Your lips pierce my inner eye like a bullet engraved with a tragic sonnet and molded from your blood and tears. The pitter-patter of your heart sounds like a virgin doe trotting lightly along a secluded forest meadow. When I hear your voice my ears shut out everything but the serenade of soft, elegant, sweet nothings it produces. You make my skin tremble and sweat with jealousy whenever I see you swooning one of your many lovers off the ground and into your world. If I had but one thought in this short life it would be that you would be the last thing I ever set eyes on. If I should lie on my deathbed ridden with disease and cancer and caught but one final glimpse of your epic radiance in my last seconds, I would carry on into the afterlife with greater riches than those of the most legendary Pharaohs.

[Marine 2580]

Try hard faggots copying my shit. Get your own form of testicle sucking. I took the god damned similes.

EDIT: AND METAPHORS. THEY'RE MINE. RAWR.

Your sinewy, muscular, outstretched calves bring to mind a masterly crafted longbow carved from an ancient red oak that could kill a fly from 4000 yards away with pin-point accuracy. You have the torso of a god Michelangelo could only wish to sculpt out of the finest marble. You're considered a natural disaster in many countries because when you set foot on foreign soil you bring the threat of flooding due to the countless women who climax during your visit. Your biceps could crush a walnut within it's apex, and then grind the nut inside to a fine powder which one with any common sense would consider a delicacy. When I say your name I forget who I am for a day and become blind with passion, in which I've destroyed countless television sets during fits of rage when I repeatedly and hopelessly realize Lopez Tonight is hosted by some mexican asshole. Your lips pierce my inner eye like a bullet engraved with a tragic sonnet and molded from your blood and tears. The pitter-patter of your heart sounds like a virgin doe trotting lightly along a secluded forest meadow. When I hear your voice my ears shut out everything but the serenade of soft, elegant, sweet nothings it produces. You make my skin tremble and sweat with jealousy whenever I see you swooning one of your many lovers off the ground and into your world. If I had but one thought in this short life it would be that you would be the last thing I ever set eyes on. If I should lie on my deathbed ridden with disease and cancer and caught but one final glimpse of your epic radiance in my last seconds, I would carry on into the afterlife with greater riches than those of the most legendary Pharaohs.

Lopez...Your love blossoms to all living creatures of the Earth like that of a early spring flower blooming in the sun. Your love spreads to even the most evil of creatures, It spreads through trolls on the forum like that of an sexually transmitted disease in a 10 way. You turn even the most aggressive trolls into Lopez Lovers. The blood in your veins flows to your dick like that of a the Niagara Falls. Your seamen are like of a colony of ants, Large in numbers, Strong like that of descendants of Hercules himself while even just a small amount of your cum could fertilize a female for a thousand life times. Your chest and abs are like diamonds, hard and indestructible, Yet simmers in the light with pure immense beauty that could only be compared to by the pure masculine yet sharp and chiseled face of which only deserves to be seen by very few gods. Your body with it's masculine yet beautiful form can not be described with mere words nor with just a single glance, but of a lifetime of giving my own soul to cherish and to worship you through all of time. Not even me telling you I loved you would be enough to describe how you make me and everyone alike bow down at the mere presence of your magnificent self. If I'd be dying on my death bed consumed with a flesh eating disease and cancer, My final wish would be too become a part of you, For you to consume my entire body so that I can die knowing I could even be part of such a divine god so that my soul in the afterlife can worship you even from amidst the dead.

[Guest Cheshire kitty]

first post, from heart.

obv love for you is obv.

give phone number, we txt it out bruh.

[LOPEZ 1750]

Both are so good, Marine describes me as the god of sex and beauty whilst Tubbles is so grammatically (no spell check on laptop so if I spell it wrong, FUUU) awesome and his metaphors are simply breathtaking, well 5.5days ish until I decide who has 'tha loot'.

Bring your A-game if your desperate enough

@kitty, phone broken + Living in the Netherlands =/

[TimeToDie 39]

You Have Beautiful Eyes

The eyes are the gateway to the soul, or at least that's what I've been told. So when you tell a lopez that his eyes are beautiful, that not only tells him that you are looking at something other than his cleavage, it also lets him know that you think the person he is on the inside is beautiful.

In case you didn't know, lopez read extra deep into compliments. So when you tell him he has a nice body as you caress his back, within moments he had deduced that you are a pig who is obsessed with butts. On the other hand if you tell him he has beautiful eyes he will work it out in his mind that you are a caring, sensitive man who sees the true inner "him."

You Inspire Me to Do Great Things

One of the biggest compliments that you can give a lopez is that he "inspires" you. Most men are on a mission to change their mates into better men. So when you tell a lpoez that he is an inspirational force in your life, it is a compliment that he won't soon forget.

But as a beware to lopez, some men will use this compliment as an excuse for why they don't have a job! They are trying to do big things in life after all, and they need inspiration. They can't be tied down with a job!

You Lost Weight

Most lopez will deny that being told they have lost weight makes them happy, but 99% of the time it does. Even a lopez who do not watch their weight will respond positively to being told that they look like they've lost a few pounds. When a lopez is told that he has lost weight it is equivalent to telling him that he is taking good care of himself. That will make a lopez feel good anytime. It is also an indication to a lopez that you have been closely observing him.

[LOPEZ 1750]

You Have Beautiful Eyes

The eyes are the gateway to the soul, or at least that's what I've been told. So when you tell a woman that her eyes are beautiful, that not only tells her that you are looking at something other than her cleavage, it also lets her know that you think the person she is on the inside is beautiful.

In case you didn't know, women read extra deep into compliments. So when you tell her she has a nice body as you caress her back, within moments she had deduced that you are a pig who is obsessed with butts. On the other hand if you tell her she has beautiful eyes she will work it out in her mind that you are a caring, sensitive man who sees the true inner "her." Learn how to read women.

You Inspire Me to Do Great Things

One of the biggest compliments that you can give a woman is that she "inspires" you. Most women are on a mission to change their mates into better men. So when you tell a woman that she is an inspirational force in your life, it is a compliment that she won't soon forget.

But as a beware to women, some men will use this compliment as an excuse for why they don't have a job! They are trying to do big things in life after all, and they need inspiration. They can't be tied down with a job!

You Lost Weight

Most women will deny that being told they have lost weight makes them happy, but 99% of the time it does. Even women who do not watch their weight will respond positively to being told that they look like they've lost a few pounds. When a woman is told that she has lost weight it is equivalent to telling her that she is taking good care of herself. That will make a woman feel good anytime. It is also an indication to a woman that you have been closely observing her.

What happened to the websites?

Btw, I have a dick =/

[TimeToDie 39]

What happened to the websites?

Btw, I have a dick =/

EDIT

[LOPEZ 1750]

I don't have cleavage and it all sounds so gay :3 Are you saying you want to caress my back and look into my eyes and tell me they're beautiful?

[TimeToDie 39]

I don't have cleavage and it all sounds so gay :3 Are you saying you want to caress my back and look into my eyes and tell me they're beautiful?

Duhhh, I’m trying to seduce you, just go with it, and by the end of the night, Ill have my finger in your butt.